


don't worry about tomorrow

by BLONDAUS



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, a lot of build up needed, and understanding, doyoung is all tough love i promise, hyuck is everyone's favorite but he too needs an escape, mark is a confused college boy who needs an escape, new years eve traditions go hard, photo journalist mark, singer hyuck, we also love supportive best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-01-05 10:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18364424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BLONDAUS/pseuds/BLONDAUS
Summary: “Ready to meet your subject for this project?” Johnny turned to reveal the person behind him. Mark never asked who it was he was studying— the thought never came up. When he met with Johnny and the promo team earlier last week, he was just filled with a briefing. Where they were going, what the task was, their expectations of him, picking at his portfolio giving their inputs on what’s good, what’s not, and their vision. He never got the name he just assumed it must be an early artist they were trying to put out there.But god Mark wished he had asked. “Mark, meet Haechan!”Haechan— full sun Haechan — and boy did he live up to it. His skin was tan like summer, his eyes gold like honey, his nose small like a button, and his heart-shaped lips must be the real definition of ‘sun-kissed.’ He was there in flesh.“Hi Mark! Nice to meet you,”“Hi Haechan.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my google docs for far too long and I would have hated myself if I just let it rot there. I have no idea how long this will, I just want to write it. First NCT prompt, second prompt i've written so far. Please enjoy!

 

**_new year’s eve tradition-_ ** **_the suitcase._ **

 

_to have a travel-filled new year, grab empty suitcases,_

_fill it in with pictures or list of places you’d like to visit,_

_and take a stroll around the block when the clock strikes 12._

 

 

Mark navigated his way through the crowded room towards the front door. He grabbed the suitcase under all the coats and walked outside into the street.

 

“Five minutes left,” Jaemin let Renjun know. Jeno was setting the fireworks up in the middle of the street ready to light them when the clock struck.

 

Mark walked up to the boys and waited with them.

 

“So, what did you even fill that thing with?” Renjun eyed the small, beaten up suitcase that Mark has taken with him everywhere since he was little.

 

“Just some books that mentioned some pretty cool places, a couple of sweaters and shorts to match the seasons, and a Polaroid camera.”

 

Jeno clicked the home button on Jaemin’s phone to check the time again. _11:57~_

 

“If any of my neighbors see you walking around the block with that thing in your hand, I won’t let you hang around my house anymore,” Jeno warned Mark.

 

“I don’t care if you think this is corny Jeno, I have nothing to lose. Not like this year was any fun for me either,” Mark asserted.

 

“Let him have something to believe in dude, it’s okay to have some faith sometimes.” Renjun bumped his elbow with Mark’s and shared a side smile to reassure him. Jeno just nodded.

 

Mark looked down his watch. “One minute left.” The boys all huddled a little closer ready to welcome in the new year together.

 

“You know you have to run right?” Jaemin asked.

 

_“What?”_

 

“You have to run. You fill the thing up and you run around the block.”

 

“I thought it was strolled?”

 

“Yeah, why do you think my grandma never went anywhere?”

 

Mark stared confused, but then all you heard were loud cheers over all the music booming from Jeno’s apartment saying ‘Happy New Year!’

 

“Run,” Jaemin motioned his head at Mark to the end of the street that leads him out to the main road of the neighborhood.

 

_“Wha—“_

 

“RUN!” Renjun shouted and nudged him over to where Mark tripped over the suitcase and nearly fell forward on to the pavement street.

 

Mark took off. He heard a flick and a screech. Boom went the firework Jeno set off, and the sky went pink. He turned back to look and saw his best friends all huddled together yelling happy new year and jumping around as the fireworks flew off.

 

Mark kept running. He ran so fast his breath was starting to become shaky and a cough was starting to build up from the cold air hitting his chest, but he ran because he wanted this-- _he needed this._

 

Inside the suitcase was a note he wrote before he left to meet Jeno:

 

‘ **I don’t care if it’s raining or sunny, if it’s cold or hot, up in the mountains or out in the sea— I don’t care what it is. just take me to paradise.’**

  
—————————

Donghyuck walked around the event hall and scanned the crowd for his friends.

 

Chenle & Jisung spotted him peering over all the heads in the room and waved him over.

 

“I think we can sneak out. Jisung, did you leave the fireworks at the top of the building? Let’s take the elevator next to the lobby-“ Donghyuck rushed to say over the loud music into their ears.

 

“—I don’t think you can leave Hyuck.” Chenle boomed over the loud noise looking around the area watching as journalists and photographers were keeping well observation of all the guests, a cameraman filming them as they stood next to each other.

 

Donghyuck glared at him. “What do you mean I can’t leave? It’s _my_ party, I can do whatever I want! Now come on, we only have minutes left.”

 

Donghyuck grabbed both of their wrists and started pushing them through the crowd out towards the back curtains that led out to the kitchen doors and into the hall that connected it to the lobby. But as soon as he pulled back the curtain, his manager was standing right there, peering down a wide smile at him, almost as if he was waiting— like he had read his mind.

 

“Haechan! I’ve been looking for you! It’s almost time to start counting down to midnight.”

 

“I know that Johnny, and I was going to go find a quiet place to celebrate with my friends, y’know?” Donghyuck said it in a half asserting voice, hoping Johnny might not say anything, but also a questioning tone, in case he needed permission.

 

“Oh no no no, the party is _here_! Plus, the CEO named the party in your name to attract the guests, so please do us the favor and countdown with everyone.”

 

Just like that, Donghyuck hands slipped away from both of his best friends wrists. He was brought on stage, blinded with the spotlight, and a large countdown timer right over his head. The CEO and everyone important at the company was standing right alongside him, smiling and peering at him.

 

_“10,9,8–“_

 

Donghyuck looked around for his friends, to at least have them be the first people he sees in the new year.

 

_“7,6,5–“_

 

He saw Chenle’s green hair flopping, and to confirm it, Jisung’s blonde hair and tall figure leading the way through the crowd right in front of him.

 

_“4,3,2–“_

 

_‘Please look at me,_ ’ Donghyuck begged.

 

_“1– HAPPY NEW YEAR!”_

 

The room spazzed in confetti and bright lights. _Pop!_ The champagne rained over everyone and people held their cups towards the sky. There was patting on Donghyuck’s back from all the people on stage wishing him a happy new year, but he stared straight at the door. He watched as Jisung and Chenle made their way out through the main door, and didn’t turn around to look at him, to celebrate with him.

 

Donghyuck rushed away from the spotlight and pushed his way through Johnny who was waiting for him at the end of the stage.

 

_‘I can catch up.’_ He maneuvered around the marketing team’s group hug, under the waiter’s tray full of champagne, ignored the cameraman’s pointed lens following his every step.

 

But he couldn’t. As soon as he made it through the main door, cameras from medias’ began flashing his way asking about new year resolutions and any words he might have towards his fans. He walked further out to the main hall and the media took steps closer to him pointing mics and tape recorders all in his face. Donghyuck pushes through and stood on top of one the sitting chairs whirling his eye direction to where the elevators were located on the other side of the room.

 

He saw the elevator door open, and Jisung and Chenle stepped inside. He also saw the smiles on their faces as the door closed, and the number began increasing to the last floor that led to the rooftop.

 

_“Happy new year guys,”_ is all Donghyuck led out before he felt a great push between him and the media and Johnny pulling him back into the reception.

 

—————————

 

Mark woke up to the buzzing of his phone in his front pocket, and a wet surface where his cheek laid on top of Jeno’s kitchen bar. How the hell did he get there _he doesn’t know_. After running around for the first minute of the new year and falling straight onto the pavement floor in front of a laughing Jaemin and a worried Renjun with a blanket ready to hand him to make up for the cold air he built up in his chest- he just went out. Jeno ran around between the middle of the street and the safety of the sidewalk as he lit the ends of a fuse and illuminated the night sky with different shades of skyrocket rainbows. Jaemin brought out the case of beer he bought and the half bottles of whatever liquor he found lying in his parents home and they sat there and drank their way into the new day.  Mark’s phone buzzes again.

 

He lifts himself off the counter and sits with his legs dangling off to the side. He didn’t look at the caller as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and swiped the screen with his thumb. “ _Hello,”_

 

“ _Well, you sound sleepy, woke you up?”_ Mark knows this voice- this aggravating voice.

 

“Hello, Doyoung.” He shouldn’t have answered.

_“Woah, okay. New year but I'm still your boss. Tone down the attitude will you?”_ Doyoung wasn’t his _boss_ boss- he was Mark’s supervisor, aka a mentor in some sort. Mark joined _WANT IT_ ? writers after reading Doyoung’s aspiring advice column of where he tackles battling social issues of today’s youth and tries to bring the light in. It was actually his one analytical review of how no one in college really knows what the hell they’re doing there except that there’s a party they have to go to at Kang Seulgi’s this weekend and that’s about it. His ending remark of “ _don’t worry about tomorrow’s worries until tomorrow comes”_ was what pushed Mark to find Doyoung in the study hall and practically begged him to take him in. Mark was half-way into his first semester of photojournalism major at Seoul National University whereas Doyoung was in his third year of a broadcast journalism degree. Still, that didn’t intimidate him from annoying Doyoung and trying to bribe him with his favorite smoothie from the bookstore’s coffee shop every day until he finally said for yes.

 

That was about a year ago and now Mark wishes he never read that stupid column. Doyoung wasn’t a bad guy. A lot of people liked him and he held a good academic reputation. He took on multiple tasks and his column is doing very well that _WANT IT?_ Is trying to offer him a good position in their company to keep the site’s visitors at the level it is now. Doyoung wasn’t a bad guy, but he was annoying as hell. At least to Mark he was. After seeing Mark come in looking desperate to do something good with his life and gain experience to grow as a future journalist he hopes to be, Doyoung decided that he didn’t mind having a little assistant at his hand, plus, he gave Mark a little overnight assignment that day he agreed, a sort of “prove yourself worthy” type of deal. Twelve hours later and a sleepless Mark was knocking down Doyoung’s dorm early that morning report ready in a sheet protector to hand over. Doyoung knew Mark was talented- he never told him- but knowing was enough.

 

“It’s the first day of the year. Actually, it’s not even the first day,” Mark pulled the phone away from his ear and looked down at the time- _7:23 a.m._ “It’s seven _fucking_ hours into the day Doyoung. What the hell are you doing at this hour on new years’?”

 

Mark most definitely heard Doyoung talking to Yuta on the elevator down at the office to meet up at Jaehyun’s place and not to forget to buy the drinks and sprinklers to celebrate. A night of partying with seniors, shouldn’t he be dead hangover right now and knocked out in the middle of the street with one shoe on? I mean, Yuta was _there_ partying with him. Doyoung really is a weird guy… and Mark really wishes he had read Oh Sehun’s sports column instead (at least he was nice to him).

 

_“Okay, I guess you don’t want this once-in-a-lifetime, travel expense free--”_

 

“I'm not going to some stupid farm again and writing another research report about pesticides and the effect it has on pigs for the nature column. It smells.” Mark started thinking about puppies to get that disgusting image he has in his head, he doesn’t want those memories to come back.

 

He grabbed a rag hanging off the edge of the bar and rubbed his face to get whatever liquid his right cheek was covered in that he’s not going to think about. _“Why don’t you ever let me finish?”_ Mark can already see Doyoung’s annoyed face he makes at him whenever he sets his foot down and doesn’t let him convince him to do whatever he wants him to.

 

“Because Doyoung, I'm two steps ahead of you. I already know your every move and know you always give me your lame assignments and bully me to do them because I'm ‘young and inexperienced’ and need any stupid report to help me to grow.” Mark hears someone groaning behind Jeno’s bedroom door and he’s sure their head is pounding with the morning hangover.

 

Doyoung laughs through the phone’s speaker and Mark pulls away because Doyoung’s loud laugh is not helping his own hangover at all. _“Alright, since you have me all figured out, I’ll just hang up and call Hyunjin to see if he knows any Japanese himself.”_

 

‘ _Japanese… Japanese. Why Japan-?’_

 

The line cuts. Mark pushes himself off the counter and calls Doyoung back. It rings three times and then goes to voicemail. “ _Hello, this is Doyoung! I am currently unavai-”_

 

“Fuck Doyoung!” Mark is pacing the apartment now looking for his right shoe throwing things around. Jaemin walks out of the bedroom door.

 

“Dude shut the hell up. It’s the morning.” Mark pushes him aside and walks into the bedroom looking around for his shoe. Jeno is sprawled across his comforter and Renjun is sitting next to the bed with his head laying on the mattress covered by a pillow. He sees the shoe on top of Jeno’s nightstand and rushes to put it on.

 

“Where are you going?” Jeno barely even mumbles peeking an eye at Mark. Everyone is so gone, the party must’ve really been great.

 

Mark shrugs them off and tells them he’ll be back. Jaemin throws himself on top of Jeno and snatches his pillow away turning to go back to sleep.

 

Mark walks out of the apartment and closes the door softly trying not to make his best friends headache even worse. When he hears the click, he sprints down the stairs and out of the building. When the sunlight hits, he has to step back to take adjustment towards the new sunlight making his head pound. But then he remembers Doyoung, and his head starts pounding even more. Mark starts running down towards _WANT IT?’s_ office.

  
  
—————————

 

Donghyuck wakes up in his room. The apartment is alone. Johnny has this morning off to himself and Donghyuck doesn’t know what plans he had set. He tuned out when Johnny said free schedule and started texting his best friends to be ready to have chocolate chip pancakes and a Mario Kart tournament. The last place has to follow the winner’s orders for the whole day and second place just has to prank call Johnny until their number gets blocked.

 

_Chenle & Jisung. _ Donghyuck maneuvers his hand all over his mattress searching for his phone and opens their group chat up.

 

**Jisung:**

_Ready to lose LOSERS?_

 

**Chenle:**

_Shut up and bring the chocolate chips. I'm hungry_

_and I'm already on the way with apple juice._

 

Donghyuck smiles. Watching as they came back to the entrance hall, smiles buzzing after having fun on the roof, Donghyuck couldn’t believe he missed the first memories that mattered this year. Chenle and Jisung saw that Donghyuck was still very well preoccupied with entertaining the party guests— _superstar duty calls._ Donghyuck looked at them pleadingly and mouthed sorry to them, but they understood. Jisung was a model and Chenle was still a rookie singer also trying to find his way around this hectic industry. They were best friends with Donghyuck, but they knew Haechan was the icon of their company— Wondrous Entertainment. They got it, and they didn’t blame him. Instead, Jisung mouthed back an _‘it’s okay’_ and Chenle told him they’ll see him later via hand signs and Donghyuck just smiled and nodded. They left the party.

 

**Donghyuck:**

I’ll get the batter ready

Hurry up, I miss you guys.

**Jisung:**

omwwwwww

 

**Chenle:**

Leave the door open!

  
  
—————————

 

Mark forgot his ID card at home and now he’s stuck downstairs calling Doyoung to please let security let him go up, but, of course- Doyoung and his stubborn antics weren’t answering.

 

He watches the elevator doors open and Hyunjin walks out with a file in his hands. “Happy new years Mark!”

 

“Happy new years Hyunjin, uhhh— why are you here so early?” ‘ _No freaking way Doyoung really gave away his assignment to Hyunjin.’_

 

“Came to submit my article report. I'm in charge of the ‘New Year’s’ column,” he shrugged.

 

“Anything else?”

 

“That’s it. Going up?”

 

Mark eyed the security. “Suppose to. Do you mind calling Doyoung and let him know I'm here? Accidentally left my ID card at home.”

 

“Yeah, he told me to let you through when I came down. He was already expecting you.” ‘ _That stupid bitch.’_

 

Hyunjin nodded towards the security and he let Mark go through. “Thanks man, i’ll check out your column! Happy New Years!” Mark stepped inside the elevator doors and pressed the button that led him up to their floor. ‘ _Doyoung is so going to get it.’_

 

 

——————————

 

 

Two batches of burnt chocolate-chip pancakes thrown away, four batches successfully made, and three best friends happy and stomachs full on their seventeenth out of thirty-two tournament race. Chenle was leading the scoreboard with an orange Yoshi at the top. Donghyuck was already thinking of all the ways to get under Johnny’s skin with his prank calls and Jisung was trying to be extra nice to Chenle to avoid any harsh punishment later on.

 

“Was the sky pretty?” Donghyuck was getting filled on whatever happened on that roof the night before.

 

“Yeah! We wanted to play roman candles but Chenle chickened out scared that I might burn his clothes and the stylist would go off on another tantrum about his clothes being ruined,” Jisung teased. Chenle eyed him and Jisung swiped his grin away remembering he’s not in the position to laugh right now with Donkey Kong being sixth on the scoreboard right now.

 

“Who, _Jungwoo?_ He wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Donghyuck was gearing up Isabella pup ready to get a little boost at the beginning of the race.

 

“ _Hey_ _!_ You’ve only seen him around! Try spending a whole month of promotions with him. _God_ _,_ my debut was a tough one.” Chenle missed the energy boost but he’ll get to the top eventually.

 

They didn’t talk as the race carried on. Just the occasional “ _haha that’s what you get”_ when a blue shell would hit Chenle. He still won though.

 

The whole morning they just lounged around talking about everything and anything. Their lives were pretty fast paced and although they do often see each other, with being in the same company and attending the same events, it felt good to just _chill out._

 

“New year resolutions guys?” Jisung was picking at whatever leftover chocolate chips there was in the five-pound bag he brought.

 

Donghyuck squeezed whipped cream into his mouth. “Get off this damn diet!” Chenle snatched the bottle out of his hands and squeezed some into his mouth as well.

 

“I wanna start my own clothing line.” They both turned to stare Jisung. Jisung just laid flat back staring at the ceiling, corners of his mouth turned upward at the thought.

 

“Bro, deadass?” Chenle mouth was muffled by the whipped cream in his mouth.

 

“Yeah, I was talking about it with one of the stylists I had at this one shoot and, _I don’t know,_ I just like it. Just creating something that’s mine.” Jisung wasn’t the one to usually put his thoughts out like that so this was _new._

 

“That’s so fucking cool dude!” Donghyuck was bouncing on his knees from the couch. “You better let me model them for you!”

 

“Yeah, if you get the time for it,” Chenle chuckled from the other side of the couch.

 

Donghyuck frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Chenle stared.

 

“It means we’re all too busy and my idea is silly and probably won’t happen.” Jisung sat up and tossed the bag aside.

 

“Jisung, don’t say that. You’re capable of doing so much,” Donghyuck pushed. Jisung just shrugged.

 

“Alright, what about you?” Jisung looked over at Chenle.

 

“Oh… _hmmm,”_ Chenle looked up thinking hard. “Maybe, honestly I don’t know. I just want to keep growing y’know. I'm too caught up with my music and all.” He looked down a little frown appearing.

 

“ _Hey,_ ” Donghyuck reached for his hand and tapped at it. “It’s okay, I'm sure this is gonna be your year! You’re Chenle after all.” He smiles and Chenle mood seemed to lit up.

 

“And what about you _full sun_?” Jisung gave him that nickname before any of his fans caught on. He loved it.

 

Donghyuck leaned back into the couch and thought about it too. ‘ _Adopt a pet? No, too needy.’_ He pondered at the thought but his head was getting clouded with the thought of schedules and promo and music and appearings and Johnny and his friends and—

 

“Quiet.”

 

His friends looked at him confused. “ _Quiet?”_ Chenle leaned in. “That’s your new year resolution _?”_

 

Donghyuck smiled at the thought. “Yeah, _quiet.”_

  
  
  
—————————

 

Mark made Doyoung’s stupid black coffee. “Alright, here! Now talk.”

 

Doyoung raised his pointer finger to his lips. “Please Mark, a little _lower.”_ Doyoung was slouched deep into his desk chair. He had oversized black sunglasses on and the office window blinds were shut. He did have a senior party.

 

“ _Hey!”_ Mark shouted whispered because god his head was pounding too. “You’re not the only with the hangover but yet I dragged myself out here so what’s up? “

 

“You can’t talk to me like that. I'm the one holding your life in my hands.” Doyoung reached for the coffee and took a sip. He held the styrofoam cup up to his temple hoping to ease some of the tension building up.

 

“Doyoung why am I here?”

 

“I got you a job— not an internship, an actual paid job and it’s the best you’re going to have so listen up.” Doyoung stood up to close his office door even though no one else was there.

 

“There’s this new project going on where they need some kind of documentary. Someone to capture all the live moments and record them as they go.” Doyoung sat back down at his desk and pulled his hoodie up taking off the shades.

 

Mark looked at his eye bags. “Bro, you look _fucked.”_

 

Doyoung glared at him. Mark looked down, ‘ _not the time.’_

 

“Shut up or I'm throwing you out for good.” Doyoung opened a drawer from the side of his desk and dumped it in front of Mark. Mark saw the initials— WD.

 

“Is this—“

 

“— Wondrous Entertainment? Yeah, now you get it?”

 

Mark eyed the file holding up closer to him, like if bringing it any closer was going to make it look any less real.

 

“I didn’t read all the details, only the overview. Basically, you’re leaving. Gone, _adios!_ ” Doyoung’s phone lightened up with a new text and he reached to answer it.

 

Mark opened the file and skimmed through it. Payment was negotiable based on work quality. It also said traveling was required and needed to be done for the next three months.

 

“It says traveling for three months…?”

 

Doyoung looked up from his phone. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I asked how good is your Japanese? That’s the first place you’ll be heading to.”

 

“I can’t leave… I-I-”

 

“-you what?”

 

“... I go to school,” Mark mumbled realizing how foolish it might sound. This was the job he needed to do and the company name was the golden ticket to getting him somewhere. Why is he hesitating over something as simple as school?

 

“Figure it out. Take an online class, skip out this semester.” Doyoung said it like it was nothing, so simple of him.

 

“Why won’t you take it?” This was weird. This was as much as an opportunity for Doyong as it was for him. Why is handing it over so easily?

 

Doyoung put the phone down and sighed. “I would, it’s good, but I'm okay. I don’t want to hold off on my graduation and I'm already starting to get closer to making a permanent choice of what to do after.”

 

‘ _This is suspicious.’_ Mark decides to push forward. “Uh huh… going to stay here at _WANT IT?_ ”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“How many classes are you taking this semester?”

 

“Four.”

 

“How’d you get this job?”

 

“A friend suggested it.”

 

Doyoung’s phone lit up again and his hands reached for it. He grinned at the text.

 

“Oh yeah, what friend?”

 

“ _Jungwoo.”_  Bingo

 

Doyoung just outed himself and it was obvious by how quick he put this phone down and straightened up in his desk. “He, _uhh_ —“

 

“Yeah, he suggested it right? And you took it expecting he was going to be on the trip except he’s not and now you’re handing it over.” Mark was always two steps ahead of Doyoung and it showed.

 

“Do you want the stupid job or not? Hyunjin was peering around my desk earlier so I can very well just give it to him if you—“

 

“—I’ll take it.” Mark grabbed the file and stood up from the chair. “You just have to vouch for me in school and in front of the directors when it comes to it, alright?”

 

Doyoung got up from his desk too grabbing his coffee and keys plopping the sunglasses right on top of his eyes as well. “Yeah, whatever. Just don’t make any stupid or embarrassing mistakes that are going to get me in trouble. I'm responsible for you.”

 

Mark was already halfway out the door holding the door open with his foot to let Doyoung pass by. “When does it start anyway?”

 

“That’s for you to figure out. You’re a big boy now— call the company and get it sorted out.” The elevator door opened and they stepped inside to head back down. “By the way, why is there a hole in your pants?”

 

Mark looked down to see a tear on the back side of his calf and the skin under was red and bruised. “Roman candles?” Yeah, last night was starting to come back and Jeno most definitely hit him there.

  
*

 

When Mark walked back inside the apartment, Renjun was still in a slump at the kitchen bar. Jaemin was sitting on the couch watching TV but the volume was on mute. “Brought donuts and coffee.”

 

Jeno appeared out of the bedroom and reached for the bags in Mark’s hands. “Cccooooffeeeee.”

 

“Where’d you go?” Renjun stood up to grab a glass of water and Mark took his spot on the bar and bit out of his glazed donut.

 

“Doyoung called. I'm leaving.”

 

Jaemin took the chair next to Mark and dipped in his coffee. “Take a breathing mask and air fresheners for your bag. Don’t want you bringing that smell back around here.” Jeno laughed at the thought.

 

“No dude. I'm, like, _leaving_ leaving.” Jaemin eyed him as he dipped to grab a donut from the other side of the counter.

 

“Where to?” Jeno questioned him.

 

“Not sure, something about Japan.”

 

“ _Oh my god_ , it worked!” They looked over at Renjun who was just beaming with a smile.

 

“What did Ren?” Jeno was now on his second donut.

 

“The suitcase running thing,” he turned to Mark. “You’re going to travel.”

 

Jaemin straightened out and patted Mark on the back. “Told you it wasn’t strolled.”

  
  
  
—————————

 

Chenle & Jisung left the apartment after taking a quick nap with Donghyuck in the living room. They didn’t finish their tournament but the results were pretty obvious.

 

Johnny came around to Donghyuck’s apartment in the evening and started picking up the mess the boys had left behind. He had to brief him with his schedules for the week to what Donghyuck only half listened to.

 

“ _And_ next week you’ll be heading to Japan to start early promotions for your upcoming EP.” Johnny sorted out the calendar in front of him highlighting those travel dates in pink on his tablet. Johnny was organized and well managed about Donghyuck’s duties. He was young too which made things easier because he _gets it_ (a little). Johnny was in his third year of finishing his major when his dad, who held a high position in the company, offered him the job to be ‘Haechan’s’ manager that Johnny just didn’t see a reason not to. He knew how the whole thing went down so he decided to take it— doesn’t have to worry about a stupid paper now.

 

“Also, we’re starting a new project for you,” Johnny beamed as he sat back into the couch.

 

Donghyuck looked up from his drawing. “Oh yeah? What’s it about?”

 

Johnny set the tablet down and looked up getting his thoughts together. “ _Hmmm,_ think of it as a documentary? Just new vlogs and pictures about you— your persona. It’ll be from the eyes of someone else and they’ll just be following you around capturing Haechan in his natural state.”

 

Donghyuck looked down and reached for the case of Prismacolors from his art box. “Hope they don’t catch me in the restroom then,” he joked.

 

Johnny chuckled at that. “Yeah, definitely won’t allow that.” He stood up grabbing his bags. “I'm interviewing him this coming week and we’ll start when you head over to Japan.”

 

“Make sure he’s cute!” Johnny smiled.

 

“No promises. Long as he gets the job done.”

 

—————————

 

So here he was, ticket in hand and ready to board the morning flight to Japan. Jaemin threw him a big farewell party when in reality it was just pizza and wings crowded into Jeno’s small living space. It’s actually Jaemin’s place now too since the new semester started but to Mark, it’ll always be Jeno’s place. They were getting sappy about not seeing Mark every day even though he’ll only be gone for two weeks max. Renjun argues that they won’t see him at school but that again didn’t matter because both him & Jeno were film majors and Jaemin was a psychology one. Jeno got tired and told him to shut up, point blank they’ll miss him and he won’t be a call away to hang out for a while.

 

Mark was upset about missing school. He sorted it out and is only taking two online classes for this semester and catching up on the others over the summer. Still not being there physically saddened him but something in his chest brightened at the thought that his New Year's wish was coming true and maybe he’ll find something to distract him from this heavyweight he felt from not knowing what the hell he was doing with his life. Doyoung needs to dedicate a post to Mark one day he really does.

 

He didn’t have much time to really rethink what he’s doing because he already handed the ticket and he’s sitting in the window seat laptop already opening to catch the class syllabus he downloaded before he left.

 

The company was kind enough to give him a business class seat all courtesy to say its part of the job. They also emphasized that he must have his camera on him at all times ready to capture whatever the moment shows. That’s when he pulled out his Canon 80D from his camera bag and started adjusting the settings. ‘ _Emotional, captivating. and real._ ’ Company’s words.

 

He felt a bag drop in the seat next to him and he looked up to see Johnny being followed with more staff behind him fill the area. “Made it safe and on time, I'm glad.”

 

“Yeah, thanks for the car to the airport, wasn’t necessary Mr. Suh but I appreciate it.” That's when Mark heard a nasal laugh peeking from behind Johnny.

 

“ _Oh my god, he called him ‘Mr. Suh,’”_

 

“Ready to meet your subject for this project?” Johnny turned to reveal the person behind him. Mark never asked who it was he was studying— the thought never came up. When he met with Johnny and the promo team earlier last week, he was just filled with a briefing. Where they were going, what the task was, their expectations of him, picking at his portfolio giving their inputs on what’s good, what’s not, and their vision. He never got the name he just assumed it must be an early artist they were trying to put out there.

 

But god Mark wished he had asked. “Mark, meet Haechan!”

 

Haechan— _full sun Haechan_ — and boy did he live up to it. His skin was tan like summer, his eyes gold like honey, his nose small like a button, and his heart-shaped lips must be the real definition of ‘sun-kissed.’ He was there in flesh.

 

“Hi Mark! Nice to meet you,”

 

“Hi Haechan.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when I opened the google doc for this and re-read what I had already written, I just went at it. So many ideas and plans for this plot I hope you guys stick around to see it happen. 
> 
>  
> 
> [constructive criticism is always welcomed](https://curiouscat.me/BLONDAUS)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sehnsucht,” Mark whispered as he stood next to Haechan, watching a Pelagiidae Jelly. “That’s the feeling you get from this room— craving for something you’re not sure you can have Haechan. You crave peace don’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer than expected, but I literally went into writer's block. Anyways, it's here. Enjoy!

There were two things Mark hated— hiccups and summer. The sweat dripping off his back and the itchiness from the mosquito bites that ran up his legs when he wore shorts out at the park. His popsicle always melted too fast and made his hands sticky. His mom used to throw him small birthday parties at the neighborhood pool but he always left with an ear infection from all the chlorine. He also really sucked at swimming and always stayed on the shallow end to avoid any embarrassing drowning scene he can cause if he ventured too out.

 

One more thing about Mark & summers were his end of the season family trips to the beach. His dad saw it as a fishing opportunity but Mark hated the way they caught them. Birds used to follow him around as crumbs fell from the sandwich his mom had packed for the day. The ocean was salty and left his hair crusty and he hated the feeling of sand stuck between his toes hours after leaving the beach. Mark never wants to visit the beach voluntarily ever.

 

Mark watched as Haechan doodled away on his iPad. To be honest, he had no idea what the hell he was doing, but it was comforting to watch as he layered colors over colors and blended them seamlessly. “So, you’re young.” Haechan played around with the shades of purple comparing which one would look good with electric yellow he had placed down earlier.

 

“Y-yeah, something like that.” Mark opened up his editor folder and started going over the weekly tips column Doyoung asked of him to take care of before he left. “ _Just ‘cause you’re leaving and living life lavishly doesn’t mean you can drop all your work on me.”_ Mark sighed, ‘ _Yeah Doyoung, I get it. In order to be it, I have to write it.’_

 

“Whatcha got there?” Mark looked up to see Haechan looking at his laptop screen, his purple still needing blending.

 

He fumbled trying to get his thoughts together and make this so-not-cool job the coolest-thing-ever-you-wish-you-were-part-of-it.”It’s uh, a _uhh—” ‘Come on loser you’re embarrassing yourself.’_ “It’s just an excerpt from one of the columns on our site.” _Safe._

 

“Oh cool, what’s it about?” ‘ _Go back go back go back._

 

Mark gave up, he knew it was lame. “Just a weekly tip section. We post these up at the beginning of every week and let people reflect on it throughout their days. On Sunday’s we open up a blog post and let people comment on what they thought about it. They’re really interesting to read sometimes.”

 

Haechan nodded and turned away going back to blending the purple. “What’s your weekly tip for me this week?”

 

Mark faltered. “You really want to know?”

 

“Yeah, I can use some wisdom,” he grinned at him. His purple laid seamlessly next to the yellow and he switched his pen setting to a pencil to begin sketching whatever came to mind. _What was that animal I saw at the zoo las--_

 

“Like the moon sometimes we need to go through phases in order to feel full again.” Haechan looked at Mark. He just kept typing away at his computer saving the document and closing out of the tab. “Also start adding laundry sheets in between the clothes in your drawers and closets. It keeps it fresh, smelling good, and absorbs some of the humidity that builds up in there.”

 

Haechan laughed, “I’ll make sure to tell Johnny about that.”

 

**

 

The flight to Japan is only two hours, but Haechan decided to take a snooze thirty minutes before they landed. Mark just sat silently next to him headphones in and messing around with the camera settings searching for one that added dramatic flair. He picked up his phone to change the song and noticed the time— _2:13._ The boys should be having lunch right now. He kind of missed them; he’ll make a mental note to call them when he gets to his hotel room.

 

When the flight finally did land, the team waited for all the other guests to exit first. They were heading up to customs when Johnny leaned back into Mark. “After this make sure to have your camera ready— your job starts now.” And so it did.

 

Mark was whiplashed with the crowd that awaited Haechan. He didn’t consider himself to be a fan of Haechan, but he wasn’t totally immune to the popularity he held. Artistry is everywhere in Korea, and Haechan was the nation’s sun— well it appeared that way. After walking through the doors that led out to the main lobby everything just happened. The flashes of cameras, the sound of photos snapping, the press rolling and pointing their video recorders and following Haechan’s movements. The fans were obviously there-- as soon as Johnny had stepped out to lead the way, the screams just grew.

 

Mark didn’t have time to get distracted. He followed behind Haechan and just followed his steps. The concept behind this was to act as a shadow, just follow his steps as is. Monkey see monkey do. Mark sees, Mark does.

 

The cars were waiting outside and he slid in taking the seat next to Haechan in the back seat. “What’d ya think?” Haechan turned towards him with a smile.

 

“I don’t think I had time to think,” Mark held up his camera. “I just acted.”

 

Haechan peered outside the window next to him. “My strut was pretty cool, huh?”

 

Mark snickered. “Definitely, _totally_ ready for Seoul Fashion Week.” Mark turned to look over the footage he just got.

 

Haechan snorted. “Eventually we’ll get there.”

 

\------------------------------------

 

Haechan’s schedule started the next day. After their arrival the spent the day off. They checked in to the hotel and the staff parted into their own rooms and went about their own business. Mark called the boys back at home and, literally, it’s been less than 24 hours, and Jaemin can’t stop pouting over the phone saying how much he misses him. Mark argued it made no difference if he was there or not, and as a result, they guilted him for degrading his presence and now he owes them at least fifty dollars worth of snacks and one pack of Matcha Oreos for Renjun.

 

Anyways, today was a radio broadcast recording for Haechan. It was just a pre-recording for the title track of his upcoming EP.

 

Mark stood in the back room as he watched everything unfold. From the set-up of his mic to equipment soundcheck. Stylists maneuvered around touching up any makeup that might have creased and adding hairspray to the bits of hair that moved away from its’ original place since their drive over here from the hotel. Johnny was speaking to the radio hosts and their script writers over the pre-questioning session they were also going to record, and Haechan just sat on the stool drinking water and his vitamins warming up his voice. It was a new environment and Mark’s just starting to adjust to it. “Shouldn’t you be catching any of this?”

 

Mark turned to look at the person staring up at him. He was a little shorter than Mark and had clear round glasses sitting on top of his straight nose. “Not really, it’s nothing new.”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be catching the ‘behind the scenes’? You know, the whole, _this is what you don’t see_.” The guy leaned on the back wall right next to Mark. The rest of the staff just kept moving about handling whatever their duties called.

 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Mark pointed at him with the lense of his camera.

 

He looked over at Mark stupid. “The newbie is asking the one who’s been here the longest who I am?” Mark just looked at him puzzled. “I’m Ten— Haechan’s…” Ten stared up at the wall face full of thought. “...I’m Haechan’s everything.”

 

“Everything?” _‘What?’_

 

“He’s Haechan’s _lead stylist_.” Johnny had intervened in their little interrogation. “Except he literally butts in everything I do so, I guess you can say he’s all up Haechan’s business.”

 

Ten flashed a smile. “Johnny might be the one who runs things around here, but trust me,” Ten leaned into Mark, “I’m the staple that holds all these flying papers together.” Johnny rolled his eyes.

 

“Hey, why we hired some journalist if he’s not journaling anything?” Johnny didn’t look up from his tablet as Ten nagged him.

 

“He knows what he’s doing,” he took a quick glance at Ten and smugged, “‘cause I hired him.”

 

Mark turned away, the corners of his mouth tugging up. He looked at Haechan testing his mic one last time before the official recording started. Ten waved them off walking up to fix the fly-away hair that the other stylist had missed.

 

“Just ignore him.” Johnny patted Mark, “Ten might be a little—”

 

“ _Nosey?”_

 

“Passionate.” Johnny smiled.“Haechan means a lot to him, and it’s just like a natural instinct of him to just be involved in things. He just really likes being in the known rather than in the dark which you’ll learn to appreciate one day.”

 

The staff was being ushered out for recording. Mark let Ten walk out first before tailing behind him. _Passionate._ That’s how Doyoung described himself anytime he gave back Mark’s reports with red markings all over the paper. Funny how Mark thought he had finally gotten rid of Doyoung, just to find himself a replacement.

 

\------------------------------------

 

That’s how the week flew by. Schedules on top of schedules. Mark watched everything happen and tried to adjust to the environment, but it was overwhelming. He can’t lie and say he hasn’t called the boys back home to rant a little of how tiresome it’s been.

 

“So, do you even get to talk to him?” Renjun was the first one to screech when he heard who Mark was documenting over. _‘HAECHAN WHO?’_ The phone had fallen from his hand and Jaemin had gotten up to retrieve it signaling Mark that they’re okay. Renjun swore he was a casual fan, that he only freaked because it was someone so known, but the way he always answered Mark’s FaceTime calls with _‘Hey! How are you? I’m good too so what did you and Haechan do today?’_ made Mark think otherwise.

 

“Well I have to talk to him— I’m supposed to talk to him, but conversations are always short and lack substance.” Mark walked out of the bathroom and plopped down on his bed, grabbing his laptop and uploading the bits he got from the past day. It’s mainly just moments of Haechan walking around the city and joking with the staff. It was cute but Mark didn’t feel like there was anything beyond these images.

 

Jeno appeared behind the screen, crumbs of chips on the corners of his mouth. “The company doesn’t care though, do they?”

 

“Probably not, Johnny told me that’s not their job, so whatever I decided to do with this documentary is entirely up to me. Haechan’s schedule is just packed so they wanted to come up with some type of fan service to give. The whole ‘dramatic’ concept and ‘the real him’ were just suggestions the PR team gave.” Mark sighed and laid back. If Doyoung was here he’d be chewing at his ear to come up with a plan already or he’d lack as a journalist who can’t write a good story.

 

Renjun snagged the camera back towards him. “I’m sorry you’re stressed bud, but I know you’ll figure it out. Isn’t this what you wanted at least? A little escape?”

 

Mark sighed and leaned back into the bed frame. “I mean _I guess_. It’s nice to be away but for some reason, I feel like I’m losing my grip on whatever reason I was even majoring in this.”

 

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Renjun was two seconds away from tearing his script in two because he made the plot too problematic to un-do.” Jaemin was pushing Renjun’s head out of the frame and submerging his own into the frame.

 

“ _Hey!_ But I didn’t do now did I?” Renjun mugged Jaemin and Mark just smiled at the screen.   _I miss these idiots_.

 

Jaemin smirked. “Anyways, don’t cloud your head too much alright? Not everything is perfect but it doesn’t help if you just keep filling yourself up with doubts.” Jaemin placed his thumb and index finger next to the corners of Renjun’s mouth and tugged them upwards. “Remember to smile. If you chose to do this it’s for a reason, don’t let your guard down.

 

Mark leaned off the bed frame and picked up his camera from the nightstand. “Alright, I’ll try. Thanks guys, I really miss you.”

 

“ _I miss you too Mark! I know I’m not in the frame but I’m here listening and sending my energy.”_ Jeno leaned into the camera to give his eye-smile and swiped back out.

 

Someone started knocking on the door and Mark gave his goodbyes to his friends. When he opened the door, _he wished he hadn’t._ “Oh no.”

 

Ten beamed at him and leaned in towards to avoid it from closing. “Not going out tonight?” Ten was out of his usual black button down and black pants attire he confidently rocked every day and was dressed more night-flashy.

 

Mark leaned up against his door his specs pushing against his face. “No, not really.”

 

Johnny appeared around the corner and saw Mark in his white tee and sweatpants. “You should go out Mark, don’t think we have you tied down.”

 

Mark saw Ten and then Johnny and then Ten again. See, he’s been trying to figure out the dynamics between these two the past few days and he really can’t. While Johnny was mature and focused, Ten ran around the whole area giving his input in things and just finding anything to distract him. Yeah, he’s the lead stylist and he does focus on his work but doesn’t he ever get tired? How does a small frame like his have so much energy to just be moving around and not letting anything get to him. Mark can admit he was a little jealous because one thing Ten was that he wasn’t was confident. Ten didn’t care if he was hired to be one thing and one thing only, he went out and did what he wanted and that’s something Mark wished he had.

 

“I really appreciate you motivating me, but, unlike you guys, I’m not really used to hopping around from place to place all day.”

 

Johnny stepped closer and leaned down a bit to come eye leveled with Mark. He looked around his face and brought his hand to his forehead. “Not feeling a little weird are you?”

 

“No, not really. Just tired.”

 

He removed his hand and looked at Ten. “Should we stay to check on him?”

 

Mark pushed himself off the door and held his hands up. “ _No!_ No, don’t worry about me. You guys go, I’ll be fine.”

 

“You sure?” Johnny looked hesitant to leave.

 

“Yes, don’t worry.” Mark pushed them down the hall in direction of the elevators. “Have a good time out, you guys have been working hard you deserve it.”

 

Ten stared. “Okay, drink some tea at least.” He turned on his heel and pulled Johnny with him before turning to look once more. “By the way, Haechan is also staying in his room. Might want to go visit him to keep each other company.” He smirked and walked into the elevator. Johnny waved Mark off.

 

He walked back into the room and shut the door.

 

**

 

The one thing he was thankful for was his classes being easy. It only included reading textbook chapters and writing an analysis of them at the end of each week. What he hated though is that traveling has put him three chapters behind already. It’s midnight and Mark could not stay awake to read another word about Romanticism. Mark was about to snooze out when another knock came to his door. ‘ _Please don’t be Ten’_

 

It wasn’t, and Mark kinda wished it was.

 

Haechan stood at the door with a towel wrapped around his neck, his t-shirt dripping at his sides. “Hi.”

 

“Hi,” Mark watched as Haechan just stood there shivering a little. “Why are you wet? It’s cold.”

 

“I went swimming.”

 

Mark looked at him in disbelief. “Swimming? It’s January dude.”

 

“People eat cold stuff in the summer.” He grabbed the towel from around his neck and started scrunching at his hair trying to retain some of the moisture falling. “Are you busy?”

 

Mark turned back to look at his textbook barely two pages into his second chapter and an open blank document he has yet to type his name on. “No.”

 

“Okay, do you mind helping me with something?”

 

“What is it?”

 

Haechan looked down at the floor twisting the towel which causes drips to fall from it. “My shoulder, it’s a little swollen from practice and the handshake event I had earlier this week.” Mark leaned closer to catch the drip that was about to fall from Haechan’s nose. “I can’t move it that much tonight so I was wondering if you could--” Haechan looked up and hesitated.

 

Mark waited for him to finish. “Do what?”

 

Haechan sighed. “This is silly and you can clown me about it later, but can you please wash my hair for me? I can’t lift my shoulders high up and I can't rinse my hair either cause Ten just dyed it and he’ll be upset if I don’t take care of it.”

 

Mark laughed. It was so silly so he just laughed. “You’re serious? Okay yeah hold on,” he slipped back inside to throw on his slippers and a jacket. “Let’s go.”

**

 

There was a puddle of water under the stool that Haechan was sitting on, and Mark’s jacket was soaked. This probably would’ve been easier if Haechan had just leaned his head under the bathtub as Mark had said, but he had insisted that using the sink was going to cause less neck pain. “Alright, I’m done. Hand me the towel,” Mark scrunched at his hair releasing any water and then wrapping the towel around his hair.

 

They moved out back into Haechan’s room and he took a seat in one of the chairs in the corner of the room. “Don’t be awkward, sit on the bed with me.” Haechan climbed up onto the bed and sat criss-cross. “Oh, could you also turn on the Switch please?”

 

Mark walked over and turned the console on as Haechan hit the power switch on the TV remote. He handed him the remote and sat on the edge of the bed. “You’re not playing with me?”

 

Mark looked up to see Mario Kart fill the TV screen. His eyes were getting drowsy from waking up so early and the visuals on the screen were making his nerves irk. “How do you handle all this?”

 

Haechan stared at the screen setting the race up. “Handle what?”

 

“Moving around so much. Your schedule is so packed, it’s sending me into overdrive.” Mark leaned a little more back into the bed to give his body a rest.

 

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m just used to it.”

 

“Is it worth it though?” Lakitu was hovering over Bowser Jr. counting him off into the race. When the light hit green, Bowser Jr. took off with a boost.

 

“Yeah, I think it is. I know it’s tiring I feel it too, but it’s so thrilling when you hear your songs being played on the radio, or standing out on stage and seeing all these people that made time of their day to come and see you.” Bowser Jr. drifted his way from hitting a banana peel and aimed a red shell towards Princess Peach right in front of him. “ _Stupid bitch.”_

 

Mark turned a little so he can see Haechan from the corner of his eye. His lips were slightly parted as he focused on the course in front of him. “So you’re okay with feeling worn-out at the end of a long day? Man, I could never--”

 

Bowser Jr. slid off the bridge and was being carried back on to the course by Lakitu. By the time he started again, he was already knocked out of his first place position and set back to fourth. Haechan huffed and start hitting all the small boosts he can to get him back to the front. “You could you know? It’s about your state of mind, like, if I have practice tomorrow morning before we leave for TV recording and I could dread it right now. But if I think, ‘ _Hey imagine how could my performance is gonna look if I go over the chorus part a couple of more times?_ ’ Then I won’t feel so burdensome about it.”

 

Princess Peach was ahead of Bowser Jr. by a second, but Haechan waited till the last stretch to use his saved mushroom that put him first and allowed him to cross the finish line. “It’s all about your mindset.”

 

Mark yawned and dropped his shoulders in a slump. “Dude, to be honest, I have no idea what I’m supposed to be filming you about. My notes look like trash and I can’t let myself write a bad article about you”

 

Haechan took a break to check his phone. “What do you mean? Aren’t you just supposed to be catching whatever I do?”

 

“Well, yeah, but like, to me that’s just easy work.” Mark thought about all the times Doyoung hasn’t really given him any good critiques on his works— just a ‘good job’ after correcting all the mistakes he had pointed out in the draft. “I just feel like this could be my big prove point, y’know? I want to do good on this.”

 

Haechan moved over so he was sitting next to Mark now. He looked at Mark in the eye, “guess you want to know the real me, huh?”

 

“Yeah, I guess something like that.” Mark wanted to break the eye contact but he couldn’t turn away.

 

Haechan smirked. “Well what do you wanna know? I thought I was an open book—“

 

Haechan’s eyes were a golden brown and the color was intensifying the longer Mark looked into them. “Everything.”

 

“What do you wanna know right now?”

 

Mark had to break this eye contact because any longer and he might really lose it. He turned away and stared at the screen in front of him. “How do you make those drifts? I always fall off the course,”

 

Haechan laughed and grab the control to start the next race.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Two days later, Haechan had a morning off. “Let’s go to the aquarium!” Haechan wrapped his arm around Mark as they were heading down to the lobby.

 

“Where at?” Mark was cleaning the lens on his camera with a microfiber wipe and placing the cap back on it. His specs were sliding off his nose and Haechan reached to push them up.

 

“I don’t know, where at Johnny?”

 

 _“Maxell Aqua Park_ , it’s not far from here,” Johnny kept typing away on his phone.

 

Haechan squeezed Mark closer to him, “Ready for it?”

 

Mark unraveled himself from Haechan’s grip and stepped out of the elevator. “Whatever you say,” he cracked a smile for Haechan.

 

“Let’s go!” Haechan skipped out of the doors and jumped straight through the van’s door being held open by his bodyguard. Mark and Johnny just followed behind.

 

**

 

The aquarium opened to the public at ten, but Johnny managed to at least get Haechan in thirty-minutes early. “If you want to see the dolphin show, that’ll be the last thing you do. There’s a showing at ten-thirty so you have an hour to go through the whole thing,” Johnny informed.

 

“Alrighty! Let’s go Mark—“ Mark was grabbing a brochure map when Haechan snatched him by the wrist and started leading him towards the stairs leading to the second floor.

 

“Why aren’t we starting on the ground floor?” Mark eyed Haechan as he made the way to ‘ _Little Paradise’_.

 

Haechan turned as he waited for Mark to reach the top. “Gotta save the best part for last,” once Mark stepped on the floor he pulled on his wrist.

 

They went around the aquarium looking at all the marine life they had there. Mark paid equal attention to the animals and Haechan while also taking sneaks of video and pictures of him gushing over the clownfish and seals. What sent Haechan into a burst of giggles was when they reached the ‘ _Aqua Jungle’_ section of the park and Mark was frightened when he turned his back and saw a green iguana behind him staring at him.

 

“Stop! It’s not funny—“ Mark frowned.

 

Haechan could barely make out his words between his laughs. “You… went... AHH!” He grabbed onto the wall to balance himself. “Your face, it went—“ Haechan mimicked a really ugly scared face and laughed harder. Mark turned away trying to forget this embarrassing moment. He eyed Haechan to see him wiping away his tears and steadying his breathing. He took a quick snap without looking through the camera screen and walked away towards the non-green animals in the exhibition.

 

Haechan eventually started suppressing his giggles and followed behind Mark, chuckles sometimes escaping his mouth. They watched the penguins being fed by the keepers and Mark teased that that’s how Haechan looked when he ate. The seals swam around and Haechan tried getting their attention by cooing at them and very lightly tapping at the glass even though the sign asked not to.

 

The general public was being allowed in now and parents trailed in with their toddlers. Johnny texted Mark to meet for the show in ten minutes. Mark looked up to see Haechan gaping at the Manta Ray that hovered over him in the Wonder Tube.

 

“This is so cool! I wished I lived underwater,” Haechan followed the Sawfish in awe.

 

Mark walked around slowly, his eyes wandering the tube.  “Like a merman?”

 

Haechan nodded, “If I have to be. I’d be a pretty cute merman, huh?”

 

Mark did think so. “Johnny said to meet for the dolphins soon.”

 

“Ah! Okay, okay. Let’s hurry for the best part.” Haechan turned on his heel but the Manta Ray came back around and he ran to the side of the tube to watch it. Mark saw the way the blue light reflected stars in Haechan’s eyes that made him glow subtly. He picked up the camera and took a snap.

 

**

 

The Jellyfish exhibit was the best part. The room was dark and neon lights hanged around illuminating the tube tanks where the jellyfish drifted. Haechan didn’t run around or squeal in excitement. He walked around slowly and gasped at the sight. He stopped in front of a tank of Moon Jelly and observed the glow they radiated.

 

“Can you believe they exist?”

 

Mark bent down to watch its tentacles. “I can’t see its mouth,” he closed his eye trying to really peer inside its body. The jelly jetted off in the other direction and Mark took a step back from the sudden movement.

 

“I wish I had a room like this,” Haechan walked off towards another tube. “It’s so comforting to see. I feel calm.”

 

Mark agreed— it was comforting. The neon lights in the darkroom were tender. Watching jellyfish drift around with a sense of easiness—no rush to be anywhere, just moving with the moment. The moment was so tranquil it felt as if it you can finally let go of that big deep breathe you’ve been holding for too long. Mark knew what Haechan wanted because he felt it too. It was a feeling of nostalgia, yearning, wanting something you’ve been trying to have for so long. Peace.

 

“ _Sehnsucht,”_ Mark whispered as he stood next to Haechan, watching an Pelagiidae Jelly. “That’s the feeling you get from this room— craving for something you’re not sure you can have. You crave peace don’t you, Haechan?”  

 

Haechan traced the tentacles with his pointer finger. “You know Mark, it is tiring.” Mark broke his contact from the jellyfish and turned to look at Haechan. “I do look at the bright side of things because it’s nice too. I feel good about myself when I do, but I sometimes do want things to stop.” The jellyfish disappeared from their view and floated to the top where Haechan couldn’t reach with his finger anymore.”

 

Mark didn’t want to ponder with this anymore, because he was just going to get stressed. “Johnny called for us to meet him, like right now, Haechan.” Mark turned his direction towards the door.

 

“Donghyuck,” Haechan called out.

 

“What was that?” Mark looked over his shoulder.

 

“You keep calling me Haechan. If you want your work to be the best damn thing you’ve ever written, then call me Donghyuck. I’ll let you in on the real me now.”

 

Donghyuck stopped once more in front of the Moon Jelly. The pink fluorescent light made his skin look tanner in this room and Mark just had to get a picture. This one was for him.

 

“Alright _Donghyuck_ , Let’s go.”

 

\------------------------------------

 

“Johnny, how much time do we have until we have to go to the meet?” Donghyuck was leaning his head on Johnny’s seat ahead of him. Mark was tucked away in his own seat asleep.

 

“We have to be there in an hour.”

 

Donghyuck looked out the front windshield. “Then can we go to the beach?” You can see the ocean from the road they were on.

 

“Johnny turned around in his seat to look at Donghyuck. “You want to go to the beach? We were going to stop and eat before your event,”

 

Donghyuck leaned back with his arms crossed and puckered his lips to the side, “tell the staff to go to lunch, and order some for me to the event. We won’t take long at the beach, I just want to stop and look at it.”

 

Johnny chuckled and turned back around in his seat asking the driver to make the drive. “Funny how I’m the manager and you’re always ordering me around.”

 

“Oh please, I’m your favorite artist! You always listen to me,” Donghyuck teased.

 

“You’re my only artist Hyuck--” Johnny argued.

 

“Makes me even more special,” Donghyuck grinned. Mark’s head was bobbing up and down from the ride.

 

**

 

Mark finally woke up when he felt the car floor under his feet a little bumpy. His eyes squinted at the sun peering into his side window. “Where are we?”

 

Donghyuck was sitting to his side humming the song he’s been singing all week at radio stations. When the car came to a stop, he threw the door open and popped out.

 

“Finally awake,” Johnny called.

 

Mark unbuckled his seat and grabbed a cloth from his bag to wipe his specs. “Where did we stop?”

 

“Hyuck wanted to go to the beach—”

 

“Huh?!” Mark was alert now, and threw his specs on so fast looking back out the window, and, sure enough, he saw the _stupid_ sand.

 

 

Donghyuck was taking in the breeze from the waves. It was really cold and Mark tugged on his coat, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Come over here Mark!” Donghyuck waved him over. Reluctantly, he walked closer.

 

“Don’t you just love the beach?” Donghyuck created a shade over his eyes to look out to the horizon. Mark looked down and made circles on the sand with the tip of his Converse. “No, not really,”

 

“Well that’s upsetting, it’s so beautiful!” Donghyuck pulled on Mark’s arm and point out to the ocean. _God, why me?_

 

They stood there together just looking out before they heard a honk and Johnny is looking at them from the car holding up his hands and mouthing ‘ _five minutes.’_ Donghyuck started walking out closer to the waves riding up against the sand, “I’m gonna see if I can find a seashell.”

 

 

Donghyuck’s skin glowed the same way light reflected off of water. The sound of his voice was soothing like waves crawling up on shore. His smile crinkled his eyes and they beamed like sun rays. When he finally did find a seashell, the pale pink of the conch was the same shade as his cheeks were from the cold wind. He squealed and ran up to Mark to show him. Mark still hated the beach, he knew he was going to feel the sand in his shoes later, but if seeing Donghyuck this happy meant coming to the stupid-damn beach, perhaps he will come voluntarily. Mark felt something warm inside his stomach when he saw Donghyuck smile under this lighting, and it wasn’t the hot packs he was holding in his coat pockets. They heard another honk and Johnny waved them back to the car. Donghyuck spun once under the sun taking it all in before heading back. Now Mark knew why they call him _full sun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things might start to pick up now, some things between Donghyuck and Mark are still blurry but it'll come together eventually. Remember, I do love constructive criticism! [cc](https://curiouscat.me/BLONDAUS)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark felt something turning in his stomach, and it wasn’t from the all the laughing in the elevator or the guilt he had for Kun earlier. It was something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is late, I know (and I'm sorry).  
> Wanted to comment that the pictures of 127 in New York that they've been uploading to their ig in East Village and etc., wow those are nice. Everytime I'm working on this story and thinking about Mark as journalist, I keep reverting back to those pictures and it gives me a lot of vibes. (I don't know if this little note made sense).  
> Anyways, enjoy!

Mark was leaning back on his chair, hands behind his head staring up at the wall. Doyoung was doing that thing where his tongue is sticking out to the side as he scribbles over Mark’s report with a red pen. They got back from Japan yesterday and Mark clocked in early to _WANT IT?_ to write his piece on whatever he's gathered from Haechan so far. _Wondrous_ allowed him to open up a column as long as he also created the documentary for their own site as well to which Mark agreed.

“Well, you left out a couple of commas, but it’s good I guess,” Doyoung bit on his pen scanning over the document once more before tossing it over to Mark.  “How was your first week at work?”

Mark faced winced as he remembered all the early morning and Donghyuck’s over-enthusiastic attitude at breakfast when Mark was really just trying to down himself in black coffee. Still, he kinda missed it- after their arrival Johnny said they’ll call him for further plans. For now, Haechan had to deal with other private schedules where Mark wasn’t really needed at. “I felt like you after New Year’s.” Doyoung glared at him.

A knock came from the door and Doyoung motioned for Mark to open it for him. Mark huffed and got up to open the door revealing Hyunjin. “Oh- Hey! When’d you get back?” He crossed the office to hand a folder to Doyoung, “Yuta asked if you could sign this.”

Hyunjin was the same year as Mark and he also took broadcast journalism like Doyoung. He was Yuta’s mentee. Hyunjin always seemed the more favorable one to Doyoung- he wonders why he didn’t just choose Hyunjin over Mark. Even if Yuta was a little spontaneous with his work, Mark was sure he could’ve learned to grow accustomed to it and be able find push himself to be the writer he wanted to be under Yuta. Yet, here he was.

“Yesterday afternoon,” Mark continued, “came in early this morning to hand in my report.” Doyoung signed over the document and handed it back to Hyunjin. He moved from around the desk and sat down in the chair next to Mark scooting it over so his legs were pointed in between the two of them.

“Had fun? Heard you were reporting over _full sun_ boy, that must be exciting.” Hyunjin was very idealistic. He and Mark were very eye-level with everything. Their grades look the same, they both weren’t chaotic or sprout around matters. Each had their respective groups of friends and they’d sometimes hang around together at parties or just random late dinners after exams. But to Mark, he always felt like Hyunjin was the idealistic one of out of both them, the one where people would prefer Hyunjin over Mark maybe for the aura he gave off. Very nonchalant and, Mark cannot deny, he was handsome. However, Mark didn’t think much about the physical sides, Hyunjin was also a great journalist and he’s gotten his good share of praises for it. He’s like an ace.

Mark slouched back into his chair and thought about Donghyuck and the beach. He didn’t take a picture of him then with his seashell, but he didn't’ need to. That memory was engraved into his mind forever.

He took a breath out to relax his head, “Yeah I am. It is exciting, but I can’t lie- it’s also super exhausting, but I’ve managed.”

Hyunjin nodded and looked at Doyoung. “I, _uhm,_ also heard you were kinda struggling with this piece.” Mark’s turned to Hyunjin and Doyoung leaned forward in his desk. They exchanged confused looks between each other. Hyunjin grabbed the pile of paper clips Doyoung had thrown on the edge of his desk and started to assemble them where they were all intertwined one by one. “Saw Jaemin after class yesterday and he told me you’ve been kind of losing focus and inspiration for this- that you’re out of it.”

Doyoung was now peering down at Mark, “You said what now?” Mark didn’t know why Hyunjin was bringing this up and even more in front of Doyoung. _What was he trying to do with exposing him like this right now?_

Hyunjin looked away from both of them and stared out the window from behind Doyoung, “If you want, I could pick it up for you… it’s right up my alley anyway.” _That stupid bitch._

Mark insides were spiraling. He was angry, frustrated, and felt guilty. “Yuta is waiting for that document, Hyunjin,” that’s all Mark manage to choke out.

Hyunjin set down the half-finished chain of paper clips on Doyoung’s desk and stood up from his chair. “You know Mark, I just don’t want you to feel stressed- and this is a pretty big project you’re working on.”

“Hyunjin!” Like saved by the bell, _or a guardian angel,_ Yuta called him out of Doyoung’s office.

Mark was glued to staring down at his hands as Doyoung got up from his desk to shut his office door and stand over Mark. He flicked his head, “The _hell_ was that you loser?” Oh, Mark was really embarrassed right now. He wasn’t sure whether to storm out of the building and call Jaemin to curse him out, but he knows Jaemin is light-hearted and doesn’t think too much about things. Besides, that was another thing about Hyunjin- he takes charge over things. If he wants something, even if he’s so cool about it, he’ll still work to get it. That’s how Yuta described him when he introduced him as his mentee at their group dinner one night. ‘ _Meet the toughest cookie you’re ever going to see in this business!’_ and out came Hyunjin.

“Look at me, Mark.” Right, Doyoung was still here.

Mark sighed and looked up to turn to Doyoung. “I was just having a bad day.” That kind of wasn’t a lie, he was really tired- must’ve been his sore talking. “It’s no big deal, don’t trip. I wrote the article didn’t I?”

Doyoung didn’t like that response. “Am I wasting my time? Am I really wasting my time, because if I am then please do me the favor of stepping out of this office and leaving this building right now so we can be clear.” He was stern with it and Mark hated when he got like this- it made him feel worse than he already did.

“No, Doyoung. I’m telling you it was just a bad day. You’re acting as if you’ve never felt like this before.” To be honest, Mark wasn’t so sure if Doyoung ever did. Just like Hyunjin, Doyoung was always so collected about himself that’s really the only way he’s gotten so much praise at this office. Slip up’s didn’t exist in Doyoung’s world.

Doyoung sighed and moved around his office picking up his things, “Walk with me out.” Mark huffed and grabbed his bag from his feet next to him. When they walked out, Hyunjin was watching over Yuta’s shoulder as he sat at his cubicle typing up something from the desktop. Hyunjin looked over at Doyoung and bowed. Mark caught his eye and Hyunjin’s just smiled even brighter. “You need to get your head out of your ass, Mark.” Mark wasn’t sure if Hyunjin heard Doyoung, but he pretty sure he did by the way Hyunjin shifted his weight over to his left. Mark rolled his eyes.

The elevator doors shut. “I know Doyoung.”

“You saw what Hyunjin just did right there? He was taking away your piece, one of the biggest projects, and all you’re doing is letting him walk over you. You’re literally screaming, ‘ _Yeah dude, I don’t mind. Take it from, I don’t care!’”_ Doyoung’s voice was growing louder. Mark winced a little because it was hitting him right in the gut. 

“I’m sorry, Doyoung. Don’t worry, I’ll handle-” 

“I will worry Mark!” Mark was really glad the elevator was empty because by the way Doyoung is flaring his arms at him and the tone of his voice, this would’ve really put him an even worse feeling than embarrassed if someone was there watching it all go down. “I am so frustrated with you right now. You complain and complain that I give you shit jobs, but the one time I give you something to be proud of you’re throwing it down dispenser like nothing? Do you not want to grow?” Doyoung turned and stepped out of the elevator shaking his head in disappointment. 

Doyoung stopped a few steps ahead of Mark and waited for him to come out. Mark’s steps felt heavy and his guilt was just growing. Outside the building, the sun was shining brightly over everyone but Mark. He felt like there was a rain cloud over his head and it was just pouring with lightning.

“Well say something!” Doyoung’s voice made Mark flinch, and he really just wanted to squirm away from him as fast as he can.

Mark looked up a little and saw the irritation in Doyoung’s eyes, but he didn’t try to look away. “I am taking this seriously, _I swear I am._ Just give me today to recover from last week and I promise I’ll be more focus about this.” Mark knew his words did so little, but it’s all he can offer right now.

Doyoung’s phone buzzed and he had to go. “You might think of me as your annoying boss who just orders you around, but you have to remember- _this is what you wanted_. You’re my responsibility and what you do reflects on me.” He poked Mark in the chest and turned away in the opposite direction walking away and leaving a very shamefaced Mark.

“You’re not my boss.”

 

\------------------------------------

 

The lights flash against Donghyuck’s eyes when the camera went off. _Snap_ . He was currently doing a photoshoot for a casual-chic lazy day- or _whatever that meant._

The photographer motioned the staff to clear the floor and set up the new props and a nod was given to Donghyuck to have a break. He skipped his way over to Johnny lounging in one of the couches at the back of the studio typing away on his tablet. “Where’s Mark?”

Johnny looked up from his tablet and saw Donghyuck flapping his arms around watching the set change from a teenage boy room to a laundromat. “Missing him already?”

Donghyuck moved around to slump in the couch right next to Johnny. “And if I am, what about it? It’s kinda boring around here.” Donghyuck wasn’t going to hide it- it gets boring. He was used to Chenle and Jisung being preoccupied in their own schedules, but those few days he spent with Mark in Japan really left an effect on him. Mark was like getting a new puppy- you have it follow you around all day, you feed it, play with it, and you can’t really keep your hands off of it for the first few weeks until the excitement fades away. Okay, maybe less on feeding Mark and being very touchy, but you get the point. Donghyuck liked having someone to talk to, someone who was also his age, and someone who gave a different perspective than he or anyone else around him had (also, thank god, he wasn’t Johnny). So yeah, Donghyuck missed him.

Ten swung the studio glass door open and walked in balancing three cups in a cup holder in his right hand. “Here’s your Americano Johnny. Hyuck, your Iced Choco you big fat baby,” Ten cooed. Donghyuck’s eyes widened and gladly accepted his drink with a thumbs up towards Ten. “How many more sets here?”

“About two more I think,” Johnny got up to stretch and swung his arm around Ten making him lose his balance. Johnny caught Ten before he tripped over his feet and spilling his own Iced Americano all over the floor. Ten fussed at Johnny for being so clumsy, but Johnny just laughed and soon Ten fell into his own giggles as well. This is the dynamic that Mark didn’t see.

Donghyuck continued to slurp on his drink, maneuvering his straw to pick up the whipped cream at the top and plop it on his tongue. “Ten, do you know where Mark is? Johnny’s keeping secrets from me,”

“Is he really now?” Ten squinted at Johnny giving him a dirty look playfully.

“No, I’m not,” Johnny smirked at Ten and pulled his arm away. “I’m letting him rest a couple days. Japan was actually really wearing him out y’know.”

Donghyuck did remember. He’d always catch Mark’s head thumping up and down from the moving car while catching a short snooze that Donghyuck would tilt his head over to where it would fall on his shoulder in a much more comfortable position. That, and also Mark would always complain mid yawns of how sleepy he felt when they would spend dinners together. Donghyuck missed Mark.

Ten bent down a little and caught Donghyuck’s eye. “Missing him a little bud? Want me to set you a little playdate up?” Johnny hit Ten’s arm making him spill a little of his drink as Donghyuck’s ears perked up.

Johnny eyed Ten and turned his gaze towards Donghyuck who was already pouring wide eyes and a curled smile at him, “Can you do that Johnny?” Johnny made a face.

“Do you want that? Your schedule is looking a little packed next weekend, I wanted to give you a breather because you also have a couple of rehearsals to do this week.” Johnny was being mindful, and Donghyuck really appreciated him for that, but right now, he wants to see his friend. 

“Well, why don’t you just invite him to my rehearsals then? That’s fun… I think. Plus, it’s also part of his job, so why not?” Donghyuck went back to sipping on his drink and picking up the whipped cream. 

Ten was picking at the clothes the shoot stylists had picked out for him. “Where’s the wardrobe at?” He flicked at the eyelash sitting on top of his cheeks. “They should’ve matched this with orange instead,”

Johnny clicked on his phone and started tapping his fingers away. “I’ll squeeze him in tomorrow, morning or evening?”

“Lunch is fine.” Donghyuck wanted to buy them sandwiches from the downstairs cafeteria and share it with him at the top of the roof as they peer down to look at the mid-day traffic.

Johnny just sighed, “Yes, your highness.”

“Hyuck, they’re calling you back to change, quit thinking about paperboy. Also, I really need to get you out of this silhouette, I can’t let them do this to you.” Ten helped him up and followed him behind with a hand on his back leading to the changing curtains.

Donghyuck was seeing Mark tomorrow.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Mark had already filled in Renjun with his horrifying embarrassing story today when Jaemin waltz into their apartment very cheery and bananas in one hand. “You! Yeah, you! No one’s behind you, don’t turn around!” Jaemin was caught in deer lock as Mark pointed his finger at him.

“What’d I do now? Did I take your last Lunchables?” Mark tended to stuff a lot of his food into Jeno’s (& Jaemin’s) apartment because A, his fridge tended to have a lot of problems to which he can’t be bothered to fix and B, he practically spends all his time here. He only ever goes to his own home to sleep or study when Jeno is being a little too loud on his online gaming system. But this has nothing to do with Mark’s Lunchables right now.

“You outed me to Hyunjin!”

Jaemin crooked his neck to the side, a bit confused, but then his expression changed as his lips formed into a smile. “Ah! Hyunjin,” Jaemin set the bananas down on the counter and pulled out the bar stool to sit in. “He’s fun, isn’t he?”

Renjun chuckled at that, and Mark’s frown deepened. “He tried to take my story away Jaemin, he tried to take Haechan.”

Jaemin leaned in turning his ear as if to hear Mark better, “He what?”

Mark stood up from the couch and walked around the bar to grab a juice box from the fridge. “You told him about how insecure I was feeling while I was away in Japan, and today he fucking came in front of Doyoung and exposed me to him. It was so embarrassing Jaemin!” Mark stab the straw into the juice box and sipped on his fruit punch. “You know how hard I try to prove myself to Doyoung- to everyone in that stupid company!”

Jaemin was looking down at the bananas sticking his fingers between the stems that connected them. He looked guilty and Mark knew it. “Look Jaem, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to yell-”

“-no Mark, you’re right. I’m sorry. I should’ve thought about it before opening my mouth.” Jaemin finally met eyes with Mark and sighed. “I was wrong, it won’t happen again.” 

Mark loved Jaemin, and even though he can admit that Jaemin shouldn’t have said anything, he was a bit grateful that he did. It gave him a reality check that if he doesn’t step his game up soon, he’s easily going to get replaced and lose it all. He also didn’t hate Hyunjin, but he would _hate_ if he left Hyunjin be the reason for his loss.

Renjun got up from his spot at the couch and patted Jaemin on the shoulder shaking him a little. “Cheer up you big baby,” Jaemin laughed and snatched the remote out of Renjun’s hand causing them to spiral into a heap of hand fidgeting to gain control over the remote. Mark was still standing at the kitchen when his phone sprung up with a text from Johnny.

 

**Johnny:**

Your break is over…. kind of.

Come by W.E. tomorrow and let the front desk know

Johnny called you to the dance room.

 

**Mark:**

Alright! What time?

 

**Johnny:**

Noon is fine

**Mark:**

Got it

 

Mark put his phone down with a full smile to his face. Donghyuck was really fun to have around, especially after the aquarium. He felt a new side of him- well actually it was the same Haechan, but just more open and inviting. His head was thinking about all things Donghyuck, when he also got another text.

 

**Doyoung:**

Article is up, check for comments and keep

a note of what people say and ask.

We talked about this already.

 

Mark’s mood soured a little. He can’t let things slip now.

 

**Mark:**

Will do~

 

Frustration is all he felt as he ran his hands through his hair and slammed his elbows down on the counter holding his head up. The sound of the door opening rang through the walls and Jeno popped in from his class. The rumbling at the couch stopped, and Renjun sat happily switching it back to the black hole documentary he was watching earlier before Jaemin interrupted. Jeno looked at Mark.

“Oh my god, did I take your last Lunchables?”

 

\------------------------------------

 

Donghyuck was peering over the edge of the building dropping crumbs of the sandwich crust he pulled off watching it disappear into the air. Mark had already taken a couple bites into his own sandwich, and Donghyuck was right, _this is a good sandwich_.

Mark unscrewed the cap from his water, “Your dance routines are really hard.”

Donghyuck leaned back down into the chair. “Yeah, you think so?” The weather was really settling today. Even though it’s reaching the end of January, and both of them are very much settled into layers of thermos and hoodies, the sun was hitting the roof spot on and the table had a nice heat to it.

Mark’s hoodie was pulled up over his head but his fringe was flying with the wind. Donghyuck reached over the table and took hold of the hoodie strings, pulling and then tying them together just like he did with his own. Mark laughed, “Now we both look like eggheads.”

“So, read your article last night. You didn’t make me sound as cool as I really am.”

“That’s cause you’re not,” Mark smirked. Donghyuck pouted and flicked a crumb at him. Mark hadn’t read the comments like Doyoung had asked him to because he was scared of getting any critiques. “So, _uhm_ , did you like the article though?”

Donghyuck turned to Mark and he saw the worry in his face. “Oh yeah! Yeah! I really enjoyed it. I’m telling you, you’re getting the real me right now and it’s showing,” Donghyuck tried to motivate, but there was still a crease between Mark’s eyebrows and you can tell he was overthinking it.

“Oh, thanks,” Mark said a little too doubtful. He pushed at his specs and rubbed his eyes again, “Sorry, it’s just- I’ve just been getting evaluated at work lately, so I’ve been trying to push my boundaries and writing to the best right now.”

Donghyuck nodded, he understood to well how that felt like. “Don’t sweat it Mark, you’re doing great. We all feel pressure sometimes too it’s normal to feel that way.” He gave a smile to try and rid Mark’s worried look and it worked because Mark tugged the corners of his mouth up as well. “Our only biggest hater, is ourselves. We’re the ones who tug and pick at our abilities because we think we have something to prove to everyone,” he reached over and pulled on Mark’s sleeves to the point where they now created sweater paws. “How about you try proving something to yourself first, and then you’ll see how much everyone else appreciates it.” Donghyuck turned Mark’s palms up and then rested his own right over his.

Mark laughed. “What- what is it?” Donghyuck questioned.

Mark’s voice came low, “... you said hater. That’s so corny.”

Donghyuck shoulders dropped and his face looked annoyed. He slammed his hands onto Mark’s creating a loud smack, “Whatever! You go the point didn’t you?”

Mark retrieved his hands, and held them close to his chest trying to ease the sting. “Alright, alright! I’ll take your word for it, but if I get fired, I’m blaming you!” Mark warned and Donghyuck laughed. Mark stuffed whatever was left of his sandwich and Donghyuck placed his last bite on the roof’s edge waiting for a bird to appear and hopefully eat it.

“Wanna go do something cool?”

Mark swallowed his last chew and crooked his neck at Donghyuck, “Like what?”

Donghyuck didn’t answer- instead, he pulled on his wrist and led him down the roof’s stairs and into the elevator.

 

**

 

Donghyuck squeezed them behind one of the cubicles of the marketing team floor. He peered around and turned just as quickly as he looked. Mark felt like he was in elementary school again playing hide and seek with Jeno. Donghyuck eyes looked around and he grabbed at random stationery that was sitting in the desk next to them.

 “Alright so check this out,” Donghyuck grabbed the stapler. “In the desk off to the corner, that’s Qian Kun.” That name sounded familiar to Mark. Mark moved around a little to the side, and sure enough, he recognizes him. Kun kept on running his hands through his hair at Mark’s first meeting when he was being reviewed for hire, and yup, he just did it again right now.

Mark moved back behind the cubicle, “Okay, what about him?”

Donghyuck opened the stapler and emptied the slot that held the staples. “So, _uhh,_ I did a little shifting in Kun’s desk.” Donghyuck was picking up the staples from the floor and stuffing them in the drawer next to him, his eyes crinkling from the smile that was forming on his face. “He hasn’t opened it yet, ‘cause I would _know_ if he did,” Mark didn’t know what he was trying to say by this, but he has a feeling that Donghyuck did something he shouldn’t have.

They heard a chair squeak and they looked around the cubicle to see Kun grabbing folders and organizing papers into them. “We gotta hurry and do this now, just follow behind me okay.”

Mark was a little scared and a little worried so all he could squeak out was “okay.”

Donghyuck pulled on his wrist bringing them both up on their feet and they walked towards Kun’s office. Kun was too preoccupied in paper clipping his folders that he didn’t notice them walk in. Donghyuck face kept breaking into a smile and he was trying to hold back a giggle. Mark chuckled a little himself but only out of nervousness. _What the hell did he do..._

Donghyuck finally took a breath out and brought his face to a soft smile, “ _Hey Kun!”_

Kun shifted around in his chair and turned up to look at both of them. “Hey Haechan, what's up?” He turned his head to look at Mark and Mark stopped. “Hey to you too! Haven’t seen you in a while, loving the job?” 

Mark pushed out of his death stare and looked at the painting Kun had up on the wall to distract him from his nervousness. “Yeah, really fun! I enjoy it a lot,” he answered.

“Great to know,” Kun smiled back. “I would want to chat with both of you right now, but I’m on my way out to a meeting right now.”

Donghyuck took a step forward and waved his hands at Kun. “Don’t worry! We just came by to ask if you have any spare staples that we can borrow.” He held up the stapler he had in his left hand to show Kun, “this one ran out and I don’t want to dig through anyone’s desks y’know?”

“Ah! Yeah sure, they’re in this drawer right here hold on,” Kun grabbed his bag to stuff the folders in there and Donghyuck turned around to look at Mark his lips parted a little from his growing smile. He motioned Mark to come closer and he whispered in his ear, “When it happens, _run._ ”

Mark didn’t do pranks- he didn’t feel right for them. Even if he let Renjun pull one on Jaemin with something as simple as pouring baby oil on the entrance floor to where Jaemin would slip on his butt, he would laugh but guilt inside of him would build and he’d help Jaemin up and pull him over to the couch to ease the pain. He also really felt bad when he took part in them, and right now, his stomach was twisting from realizing that Donghyuck was about to pull a prank on Kun, and there was nothing Mark could do to stop it.

Kun turned to the side where he had his cabinet of drawers and bent down to reach the bottom one. Donghyuck held his arm up beside Mark and slowly started to back out closer to the door. Kun clicked on the lock and pulled the drawer open and, oh my god it was _bad._

The drawer opened to confetti exploding and helium balloons floating out of it. A horn was going off inside and Kun was spitting out the confetti from his mouth. _“Run!_ ” Mark and Donghyuck clashed against each other as they tried to run out of the small door. You couldn’t even hear Kun yelling Haechan’s name from the horn going off and the few staff who were on the floor were looking over their cubicles to see the commotion.

They reached the end of the hall where the elevators were and Donghyuck clicked on the arrows for an elevator to hurry up and get them out of there. Mark looked behind his back and Kun was at the other end charging at them. He tapped Donghyuck’s shoulder and pointed at the very angry man staring them down. The elevator door opened and they jumped in, Mark now clicking away for the button to close the door. Kun was getting closer, confetti stuck to his hair and clothes, and Mark and Donghyuck screamed until finally, the doors closed.

The elevator was leading them back up to the roof and Donghyuck fell to the floor falling into a fit of laughs, tears coming to his eyes. Mark was laughing as well, scared out of his mind of whatever the hell had just happened. “You did all of that?”

“Y-yeah,” Donghyuck managed to choke out. “Wasn’t it funny? _Oh my god.”_

Mark was coming down from his laugh high and he stared at Donghyuck as his laugh turned into giggles. The elevator door opened and the stairs to the roof were there. They walked out and started heading up, Mark trailing behind Donghyuck who was skipping away proud of his achievement. He saw a couple strands of Donghyuck’s curly hair peeking out from under his hood and just realized that they walked around the building looking crazy with their eggheads and chaos.

When they reached the top, Donghyuck sat on a bench at the other end of the roof and watched the bird picking at the last bits of sandwich he had left. He scooted over for Mark to sit next to him and turned his head up to the sky to stare at the clouds bringing his right hand over his eyes to shade away from the sun. Mark felt something turning in his stomach, and it wasn’t from the all the laughing in the elevator or the guilt he had for Kun earlier. It was something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise guys, things are really going to start to pick up now. Don't hate Hyunjin please, we all love a healthy competition. 
> 
> Thoughts, comments and constructive criticism are welcomed! [drop it here on my cc](https://curiouscat.me/BLONDAUS)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But Mark thought about Donghyuck. He thought about Donghyuck and he hated it. But he also knew that whatever crush he might be having on him was out of his reach so he says what his gut was telling him to.
> 
>  
> 
> “Alright, I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update for two weeks. I saw 127 last week and literally have been trying to get over concert depression but it's hard because I really, really ᵐᶦˢˢ ᵗʰᵉᵐ.
> 
> Enjoy!

February flew by and the weather went cool. Mark and Donghyuck still bundled into coats and beanies when they went up to the roof, but the weather was starting to get warmer as spring approached.

Johnny began to include Mark more into Haechan’s schedules too. He was behind shoots, watching from the sidelines as he partakes in interviews, catching sneak shots of a sweaty Haechan in dance practice studios, and Haechan even invited him into the recording studios where he witnessed just how deep his passion for music really went. Mark knew he was talented- he realized that in Japan- but this was a different level.

It wasn’t ‘till after a late night recording that ran for a couple of hours that Mark finally decided to say something because he had to give credit where it’s due. “Hey, you’re like, really talented.”

Haechan chuckled at that and slumped into the couch next to him rubbing at his eyes, “Yeah, I kinda figured.”

Mark slapped him on his arm, _“Hey!_ I’m giving you a compliment, be grateful you brat!” Haechan laughed and reached for the water bottle. “But, _yeah,_ you’re really talented Donghyuck. No wonder you’re as famous as you are.”

Haechan screwed the cap back on and stared at Mark, “That’s only Haechan though. Haechan is famous and talented,” he turned his body to lay on the couch and brought his legs resting them over Mark’s. “What do you think about Donghyuck though?”

Mark had a really special place for Donghyuck. There were times between schedules where they’d just talk and kid around with one another, no cameras involved. They shared about Donghyuck’s obsessive love for whipped cream and how Mark got a scar over his palm from falling onto the rough pavement when trying to learn how to ride the bike when he was little. But there was a lot Mark was learning about Donghyuck away from his singer status. Donghyuck was a one-thousand puzzle piece and Mark still had a long way to go, but there was no rush to it.

“I think he’s pretty cool too, a little lame I admit, but still cool,” Mark teased and Donghyuck nudged him with the ball of his foot and closed his eyes to take a snooze. It was late and Mark knew he should be getting back to his place to take a shower and nap because he was going with Doyoung tomorrow morning for a meeting, but instead, he let Donghyuck fall asleep. That feeling Mark had in his stomach when they pranked Kun didn’t go away. He knew what it was, but Mark being Mark, he tried to ignore it anyway.

He didn’t think much of it, or at least he tried not to. Didn’t try to pry into figuring if what he was feeling was true. The way Donghyuck’s heart-shaped smile brought one onto Mark’s. The way his laugh would burst out loud at first, and then shift into small giggles to which Mark found pleasure in hearing. Or the way Donghyuck would sometimes come up behind him and brace him into a warm hug to catch him off guard, and then try to body slam him onto the dance floor. Mark didn’t try to think about these things because he’d rather learn more about Donghyuck and his true self than mold him into a shape-shift fantasy where he was just a love subject. He likes Donghyuck he can’t deny it, but he also really likes friend-Donghyuck, the boy who was helping him build into a better writer. That, or either Mark was doing that thing again where he’s too caught up into his head and tries to make an excuse to stop him from having to deal with his emotions (most likely the latter). Besides, even though Donghyuck was just being Donghyuck, there was still Haechan, and Haechan was too good for Mark.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Right now, Mark was spending his day with the boys back in Jeno (& Jaemin’s) apartment. Johnny called him earlier while he was at _WANT IT?_ to inform him that they were leaving for Malaysia in the coming week for a short meet.  

“What do you want me to get you this time, Ren?” Mark was currently trying to decide whether to throw out his ‘draw two cards’, or save it for it another turn and use the red nine card

Renjun looked up to the ceiling and lowered his hand, to which Jeno found it to his advantage to try and peek at his cards. Renjun caught him and flicked his forehead. “I don’t know, didn’t think of something. Get me anything, really.”

Mark decided to put down the red nine and it was Renjun’s turn. “Oh, no really choose something. Don’t put so much responsibility on me like that.”

Renjun put down a yellow nine card, leaving him with his last card. “Uno! Ha!” Jeno was caught with his mouth open as Renjun beat him to it. “Responsibility? It’s just some meaningless gift,”

Mark threw his arm up to his chest mimicking as if he just got stabbed, “Meaningless? Oh wow Renjun, that hurt me really bad.” He was leaning back into the couch causing it to shift and eventually, he fell back to the floor with a thud to which Renjun laughed at

“Hey! Alright, I’ll tell you before you leave, and stop pouting- your gifts are not meaningless. I love them!”

Jeno was thinking hard at his next move and Mark got up to grab water from the fridge. Jaemin opened the front door and threw his bag on the floor huffing. He was obviously annoyed by the way he eyed Mark as he took off his shoes, but he still made sure to not slam the door closed.

“Hey… “ He was irritated.

Jeno looked up from his stack, “What’s wrong, baby?” _Baby_ didn’t really mean anything, Jeno just called Jaemin that. Jeno was actually a little crazy over Renjun, but he’s too lost in his own little world to notice it. Also, Renjun had actually talked about it with Mark before and he decided that if something were to happen, it will, but he wasn’t going to push for it.

So, right now Jaemin was trying to bury himself into the couch and sulk away as he nibbles on animal crackers, “My stupid professor gave us a ridiculously hard test to which no one even knew or had time to study over, and yes- I will be angry because who the hell does that?”

Jeno leaned back from the coffee table and patted Jaemin’s head, “Sorry to hear that bud.” He snagged a couple of animal crackers out of Jaemin’s hand and went back to playing his cards.

“Yeah, well you’re going to keep hearing about it so,” Jaemin whined. He turned around in the couch and kept blabbering about all the small details that his professor has done since he’s stepped inside his lecture room and just about how much he regrets taking his class. It’s only been about two months into the new semester and Mark’s getting a little worried he might not make it to midterms.

Renjun still managed to win even though Mark made him draw four cards back to back and now Jeno was upset because he swore he had his whole strategy planned out. “ _Ugh!_ You guys are going to make my head explode,” Renjun was rubbing at his temples and Mark was starting to feel heavy from all the tension crowding the room.

“Wow, and I thought I was the college kid having an existential crisis,” Mark said.

“Mark! Best friend,” Nana pouted at him with puppy eyes. “Let’s go get ice cream, you and me. I need a sweet relief.

“If he buys for you, he has to buy for me too. Renjun just made me look like an idiot,” Jeno was pointing fingers at Jaemin as he laid on the floor lifting his head a little.

Mark got up from his position on the floor and grabbed his jacket, “Alright, kids. Let’s all go get ice cream.” Jaemin jumped at this and rushed to the door to put on his shoes. Jeno tugged on Renjun’s legs to help him up and trailed behind Mark.

 

**

 

Thirty-minutes later and Mark had three happy campers with their favorite ice cream flavors as they took over the corner table in the shop. He paid for all four of them only because they all jumped on him about how he technically wasn’t taking any college classes and he didn’t have to feel the stress of binge eating snacks to keep him up while studying late nights. But what they didn’t know is that Donghyuck also had a sweet tooth during late night recordings and dance practice but he’ll keep that to himself. Mark doesn’t really talk about Donghyuck with them besides the usual ‘ _He’s fun to work with’_ or ‘ _Yeah, he’s cool and talented.’_  Besides, Mark has been careful of not getting attached with Donghyuck because he didn’t know how long his job would last and he’d hate to go through that type of feeling.

“So,” Jaemin was plopping the spoonful of ice cream into his mouth when he looked across the table to Mark, “what’s been up in your life?”

Mark eyed Jaemin and picked up his spoon to scoop at his cookie dough ice cream, “Writing and filming, taking pictures- what else?”

Jaemin shook his head sideways, “No, nothing. Just wondering.”

Mark was having flashbacks to the way Hyunjin had humiliated him and he’s getting nervous because Jaemin was giving him the same vibe right now. “Na Jaemin, did you do something wrong again? Come clean before I get upset-”

“It’s nothing bad,” this time Renjun was the one who spoke up. _Oh, this isn’t good._ Mark’s head was starting to feel tense as Renjun and Jaemin shared each other looks. He turned to Jeno to see if he was part of whatever was going on here. 

Jeno caught his eye, “What? I don’t know anything.” He took a lick at his ice cream cone and there was a drip on his chin. Renjun handed him a napkin and looked back at Mark.

“Okay then, if it’s not bad then just come out and say it then.

Jaemin sighed, “Alright, remember that one tall dude, kinda funny and sweet I told you about in my lab class?”

Mark tried to think back but Na Jaemin was a people’s person and loved to talk to everyone so his mind is going blank right now. “I want to say yes, but I’m feeling a no right now.”

“Remember,” Renjun piped in, “big ears, short black hair? He was at the New Year’s party and he and Jeno kept trying to see who can chug a beer can faster but they kept coming out tied?”

Mark turned to Jeno and his face was hiding in disgust, “Beer is so nasty, why did you guys let me drink so much of it? I puked so many times the next morning, _ew.”_

Renjun patted Jeno on the back as he leaned his head down on the table trying to drown out the memory, “Jeno, sweetie, we’re eating right now, please don’t remind us as well.”

Mark remembered him now. He was nice, tall, big ears and he was _cute._ He kept trying to talk to Mark the whole night and they did start off in a great conversation at the beginning but after midnight dropped, Mark was spazzed out on the alcohol and lost trace of him. “Ok yeah, I remember now, what about it?”

Jaemin held his hand up as he tried to down the last of his ice cream when they heard the shop’s bell rang. “ _Yo! Jaemin!”_

Everyone turned their heads to look over at the boy calling him and, there he was. The cute guy with the big ears from the New Year’s party.

“Hey, dude!” Jaemin was leaning back in his seat and motioning him to come over. Mark looked at Renjun for some sort of explanation as to why he was there, but Renjun just stared down at his ice cream.

“What’s up, dude?” He was loud, but not obnoxiously. Mark was staring at him and he looked different under this setting. When he first saw him it was inside a dark room, and his facial features were there but they didn’t stand out the way they do right now. The plump lips with big round brown eyes. His smile was like a child’s but it gave him a fun flare. He wasn’t cute, he was handsome

“-and this is Mark.” Jaemin was pointing his finger across the table at him now and Mark came back from his thought. “Remember him right?”

“Yeah, I do.” With the way this guy was looking at Mark and smirking at him, he had to catch his breath. But that soon stopped because Jaemin was kicking his feet from under the table and making head motions for him to talk.

“H-Heyyy…” _Crap, what’s his name?_

Renjun read his mind and leaned into Mark’s ear coughing out ‘ _Yukhe_ _i._ ’

“Hey, Yukhei right?” The guy’s smile brightened and he nodded.

“Still remember me too I see,” he retorted. Mark didn’t remember him so much but he definitely will now.

Jeno finally lifted his head and put the trashy memory behind, “What are you doing here Yukhei? Had a late class?”

Yukhei shifted his bag strap and wrapped one of his hands around it, “Nah, just late studying. Why? Wanna go for another round Jeno?

Jeno grimaced and leaned over to Renjun, “Let’s not talk about it please.”

Jaemin caught Mark’s eyes and Mark threw a questioning look at him. Jaemin just smiled and turned back to Yukhei. “So, wanna join us for some ice cream?”

Yukhei kept glancing over at Mark and Mark felt it, even as he tried to focus on his already melted ice cream he still felt his stares. “No, I should be heading back to my apartment right now, my roommate actually doesn’t have his keys, so he’s locked out right now. Just stopped by since Jaemin told me he was hanging around here.”

“Ah, that sucks. Would’ve been fun to hang out for a bit. It’s been a while since we’ve talked,” Renjun said as he rubbed circles on Jeno’s back. “Plus, it’s Mark’s treat. He would’ve loved to buy you a cone.”

Mark choked on his spoon causing a little spill to trail down his chin. Yukhei reached for the napkin on the table and handed it over to him. Mark accepted but didn’t dare to look at him. _How embarrassing_.

“That’s alright, maybe I can take him out for ice cream some other time, right Mark?” _Hold up, what?_

Mark looked up at Yukhei and he was just smirking at him the same way he did earlier. Jaemin was trying to suppress a smile, and Jeno was just laughing at his panic. “You said that aloud bud,” Renjun leaned in to whisper into Mark’s ear.

“You what?” Mark barely choked out again when he turned his attention back to Yukhei.

“It doesn’t have to be ice cream, but, yeah, let me take you out sometime,” Yukhei was cheesing and Mark didn’t know how to react. He was cute, tall and nice, but _is he really asking me out on a date right now?_

Renjun pinched Mark’s elbow and leaned in to whisper once again into Mark’s ear, ‘ _Say something.’_

Jeno was hiding his chuckles behind his hand and Jaemin was leaning forward on the table waiting for Mark to say something.

But Mark thought about Donghyuck. He thought about Donghyuck and he hated it. But he also knew that whatever crush he might be having on him was out of his reach, so he says what his gut was telling him to.

“Alright, I’d like that.”

 

\------------------------------------

 

For the first time in a month, Jisung, Chenle, and Donghyuck were finally having their weekly friend dinner. It’s at the company’s cafeteria but they don’t really care. Chenle’s album teasers dropped a little after Haechan’s Japan promos were over and it created a buzz around him.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the Zhong Chenle is having dinner with us,” Jisung was teasing and Chenle was trying to hide from the embarrassment by tugging on his hoodie higher.

Donghyuck laughed and tried to push his hood back down, “Hey! I told you- you’re a star.” Chenle smiled and sipped on his smoothie.

“Jisung is acting like we haven’t seen all the magazine covers he’s been on lately. Talk about the company’s visual,” Chenle remarked

Jisung stretched his arms up over his head, “Yeah, I’m booked, still tiring though. Those sets run for hours.”

Donghyuck nodded and pushed around the fries sitting on his plate. “What’s been up with you lately, Hyuck?” Chenle snatched a fry off his plate and plopped it into his mouth.

“Just rehearsing and doing appearances. I’ve been doing recordings for new songs lately, but Johnny hasn’t mentioned the release date.”

“Giving you a little break, maybe?” Jisung asked.

Donghyuck nodded and picked up his burger taking a bite. “Yeah,” he said between chews, “but that won’t last long. The meeting we had for this year’s goals has a lot of expectations that I haven’t met yet.”

They all nodded and continued to eat.

Donghyuck made conversation about Chenle’s album, and Chenle asked about Japan. Jisung was staring at his water bottle, tracing his finger around the rim when he decided to chug down half of the water that was left in it. “Let’s play spin the bottle!”

“Oh god,” Chenle cried.

“Fun!” Donghyuck picked up their plates and set them down on the table behind them clearing the table.

Jisung finally got the right flick that made the bottle spin in circles. “Alright, I’ll start.”

The bottle spun and it landed on Donghyuck, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Loser,” Jisung spatted. “Alright, was it you who told the dance instructor I had a peed on myself during one of his lessons and that’s why I had left early and decided I was going to become a model?”

Donghyuck laughed, “No, that wasn’t me, but I know who it was.” Chenle was leaning far back into his chair, hand over his mouth trying to hide his laughs.

“Chenle!”

“What? It was funny. It’s no biggie, don’t overreact that was so long ago,” Chenle tried to excuse.

“No! That’s not funny! I couldn’t walk to that side of the building for weeks, it was humiliating,” Jisung pouted

Donghyuck looked at Jisung, “Wait, did you really?”

“No!”

The game went on for rounds and Jisung continued to find out who were all the culprits behind his embarrassing moments. Chenle kept trying to play the tough guy and take on dares, but then he’d chicken out last minute and beg for a truth to which he had to admit to a lot of embarrassing stuff. The bottle landed on Donghyuck and it was Chenle’s turn to ask him.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Tell us about that Mark guy you’ve been hanging around with so much.”

Donghyuck paused, “What about him?”

Jisung snickered. “You always mention him. ‘ _Oh me and Mark did this…  Mark did this today… You guys won’t believe what Mark did…’”_ Jisung went off in mocking voice

Donghyuck wasn’t amused. “What? He’s my friend.”

Chenle looked at him concerningly, “Really? A friend?”

Donghyuck was staring at them both confusingly when a light bulb set off in his head. The way he raves about Mark’s funny jokes or the cool pictures he takes of him. The way Donghyuck always explains to Jisung and Chenle that Mark is a kind of a loser but it makes him cute in a way that makes up for it. How he’s passionate about photography and writing about others- it made sense. “No way,”

“You see it now, bud?” Jisung asked.

Donghyuck nodded, “You guys are jealous of Mark!”

Chenle’s mouth flew open and stared across the table confusingly.

“What?!” Jisung yapped

“Oh guys, don’t worry! You two are my best friends! Mark is just a really cool friend I just met and since we spend so much time together I just-”

“Hyuck, that’s not it!” Jisung threw his arms exasperatedly.

“We really think you like him Hyuck,” Chenle reached for Donghyuck’s hand and grabbed it. Donghyuck stared at both of him blank-eyed.

“Huh? Why would I like him? I’m telling you he’s my _friend.”_

The two boys exchanged looks between each other and Donghyuck looked around the room. He peered out through the glass windows and, speaking of the devil, saw Mark walking down the hallway outside typing away on his phone. He was balancing a couple of folders in his other hand and his hair was brushed back, his specs sitting on his nose bridge. He was actually dressed a little nice than usual and it caught Donghyuck by surprise that he wants to go tease him about it now.

“Look, there goes my friend right now! I’ll show you guys,” Donghyuck pushed his chair away from the table with a squeak and headed towards the cafeteria doors making his way down the hallway to Mark.

He ran up behind Mark, and to annoy him, he leaned close into his ear and yelled, “ _Hey_ _Mark!”_

Mark jumped at the sound and he dropped everything in his hands. He screamed and Donghyuck laughed at him, “Oh my god, this reminds me of the aquarium.”

Mark stomped his feet, “ _Donghyuck_!” He leaned down to pick up the papers that flew out and Donghyuck helped him.

“Hey, you’re the one who gets scared easily.” He grabbed Mark’s phone, keys and a folder.

“And you’re the one who can’t stop from being annoying,” Mark retaliated.

Donghyuck lifted himself back up from the floor, “What are you doing here so late? And dressed so nice? Hmm, trying to impress someone special?”

Mark was still tugging on the papers trying to file them into their corresponding folders and placing the paper clips that came loose, “Like who?

Donghyuck leaned in, “Like me?” He brought his finger to his lips and tried to make a cute face.

Mark brought two fingers up to Donghyuck’s forehead and pushed him back, “Ha ha, like you’re so special.” Donghyuck glared. “Johnny had to hand me some stuff over before we leave for Malaysia.”

“Ah, right. Are you excited? ‘Cause I sure am!” Donghyuck cheered. He handed the folder he had back over to Mark but kept hold of his phone.

“Uh huh, as long as I get to sit next to Johnny and not you on the flight, everything will be great,” Mark smiled.

Donghyuck pouted, “Meanie. Ten won’t even let you.”

Mark shrugged, “Guess I’ll have to buy some earplugs then. You snore a little loud.”

Donghyuck was taken back and held his hand up in protest. Mark reached for the phone in Donghyuck’s hand and he pulled it away, “Take that back. I do not snore!”

“Nope! You snore so loud, I now know why they give you your own room in a different hall of the hotel away from everyone else!” Mark reached for the phone again but Donghyuck was flying it around in his hand trying to keep hold of it.

They kept at it until they heard fast footsteps and Johnny grabbing Mark on the shoulder turning him around. “Hey! Almost forgot to give you your flight information, meet us there right?”

Mark grabbed the paper and nodded, “Yup, got it.”

Donghyuck felt Mark’s phone vibrate and he turned it around in his hand to look at it. One new message popped up: 

 

**Lucas:**

Ready for our date?

Meet you there in 10 (:

 

Donghyuck felt something inside of him drop and Mark snatched the phone out of his hand. “Let’s talk about privacy rules on the flight, huh?” He turned over to Johnny, “See you then!” Mark patted Donghyuck’s fluffy hair as he passed by him.

Donghyuck was devastated. He walked past Johnny and made his way back into the cafeteria to the table where his best friends were watching the whole scene outside.

He plopped down on his chair when Jisung spoke up, “That was Mark? I’m telling you that didn’t look like friends-”

“Guys, do I snore?” Donghyuck was staring down at the table.

“Hyuck, what?” Jisung asked.

Chenle leaned closer and tried to catch Donghyuck’s eye, “Hyuckles, why did your face drop when you saw his phone? What did you see?”

“Oh god, I snore right?”

“Hyuck, what’s going on?”

“I think I might have a crush, guys,” Hyuck crossed his arms on top of the table and stuffed his head in between the gap muffling his voice, “and it freaking _sucks.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, I think this is where it's really going to start guys. I'll try to be more active on updates but I have finals so sorry if I don't! To my readers, I love to hear your thoughts or opinions in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/BLONDAUS) always open to anyone's feelings (:


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck feels like shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we're back.

Donghyuck was in trouble. In big, big trouble.

After admitting that he did, in fact, have a crush on Mark, Chenle and Jisung tried to convince him that it was a good thing. That it was normal to develop feelings for someone and no crime was committed. But, Donghyuck wasn't the criminal- Mark was. Donghyuck was living life lavishly until Mark came and created the mess. Mark was guilty, and Donghyuck was the victim... Ok, that was cheesy, but you get the point.

He didn’t shake off the fact that Mark had a date with someone that night, and a very special date it must be since he actually managed to wear matching socks instead of his mismatched ones. Chenle and Jisung didn’t have much help to offer. Instead, they went down to the convenience store and stuffed their hands with candy and ice cream pushing the cheat limit of their diets. Regardless, Donghyuck was upset, but that’s not what he was in trouble for right now.

They arrived in Malaysia in the afternoon. After passing the light press that awaited Haechan at the airport, they went to the hotel to settle for tomorrow’s schedule. As usual, Donghyuck’s room was on another end of the hotel and everyone was free to have time to themselves. Mark tried inviting Donghyuck to go explore the shops that they had passed by on their way, but between the time since Mark’s date night to the flight over from Seoul (to which, unfortunately for Donghyuck, he had to share the seat with Mark), Donghyuck came up with a resolve to his little crush with Mark- ignore him.

So Donghyuck declined Mark’s offer and moved around him to get to his side of the hall, avoiding eye contact as much as possible (to which he bumped into the wall and knocked over Mark’s luggage, but he’s trying to forget that).

Again, that’s not what Donghyuck is in trouble for.

Donghyuck put his stuff away in the room, and after laying around for an hour until he felt like hotel hallways were less cramped with staff and Mark, he changed into a more casual pair of clothes, grabbed his bag, and made his way out of the hotel. He used the elevators at the other end of the hall and exited through the hotel’s restaurant instead of the main doors. He didn’t tell Johnny because Johnny would’ve only made him take Mark as a tag-along to avoid him out alone in a place he didn’t know (not like Mark knew either).

The sun over the sky was starting to set and the warmth of Kuala Lumpur was starting to lighten from the cool breeze coming in. Donghyuck tugged on his bag and headed for the merchant area that Mark mentioned earlier. He felt a little guilty from leaving Mark behind, but he really didn’t want to deal with the goofy smile he has when exploring a new place. Mark freaked over all the cutesy shops in Japan and- _Oh my god, Mark! Get out of my head!_

Donghyuck spent his time walking around the area. He kept his eyes low and made sure he didn’t see any staff, but after half an hour of moving deeper into the streets, he lost worry for them. He kept walking around, letting his feet take direction and not minding where he was going, or who was there to see him. A couple of people seemed to have stared, and he assumed they were fans, but he decided to not pay attention and continue on as any tourist would.

Night falls over Kuala Lumpur. Donghyuck bought himself something to eat from one of the merchants and stopped to take a bite. There were kids playing around the street, families sitting at tables enjoying the air, people walking home from work, and, _oh god,_ there were couples walking around hand in hand. Donghyuck stared as one of the boys was teasing his girlfriend poking her in the stomach and she squealed. Donghyuck thought about the way he likes to hug mark, put his arm around his shoulder and then wrap it around his neck before he starts closing in and choking him to where Mark’s beating at his hand to let go. He laughed at the thought and then stopped. _That’s not forgetting him, loser._ He stuffed the rest of his food into his mouth and got up from his spot.

Donghyuck wasn’t sure how long he’s explored, but he’s starting to get tired. The early schedule begins tomorrow and he should head back to the hotel and gain the rest he’s lost from late nights at the company. Except he doesn’t know where he’s at.

Oh right, this is why Donghyuck’s in trouble.

He stops to the side of the street where it’s not that crowded and pulls out his phone to check his map app and get him back hotel- except he also doesn’t remember the hotel name. Oh well, he’ll just check the location of his airpods. He clicked the lock button and waited for the screen to light up. It didn’t.

He tried again, and nothing. His phone was dead and he remembers now because he was so preoccupied distracting himself on the flight to avoid Mark. He got to his hotel room and fell into a slump that he forgot to plug it into the charger. _Oh god, you’re such an idiot._

Donghyuck could do two things right now. A. panic, or B. he could not care and panic later. The streets are getting busier the more the sky darkens. Donghyuck thinks and he decides that the only thing he can do is try to stay calm and walk back the direction he came. So, he went back out towards the busy street.

The hotel was near downtown, that much he knew. He saw the buildings getting taller and his worries started to ease. He should be able to recognize something soon and figure out his way back. He just hopes Johnny hasn’t stopped to check by his room, or at least if someone did, it was Ten. He’d rather hear yelling from Ten, but at least he’d keep it secret and avoid telling Johnny.

Donghyuck stopped when he realized he just found the Petronas Twin Towers. It was part of the tourist video on the plane, and he remembers hearing Mark that they should stop there to visit. He wanted to experience the scenery from atop and look out over the city at night. _Fuck! Night!_

Donghyuck spun around and looked about the crowd searching for the boy with black, staticky hair. The area was swarmed with people, and he didn’t know if Mark came alone or tagged along with any staff. Donghyuck didn’t see anything and decided that he should go before someone actually spots him. He turned on his heel and continued to march back to the hotel, head low and blending into the crowd. He passed up the towers and relaxed his shoulders a little. He spotted a cafe on one end of a block and remembered that the hotel was roundabout. Grabbing firm hold of his bag, he trudged a little faster until he felt a tap on his shoulder. Donghyuck turned his head a little, but he didn’t see anyone calling for his attention. He turned back around and kept walking until this time, he felt a tug at his bag strap. It made him lose balance causing him to nearly slip back on his feet, but someone was there to catch his fall. “ _Yo! Watch out there,”_

Mark.

Donghyuck turned around, and yup, there goes Mark’s fringe sticking out of his face. “Caught ya’! You almost took a tumble on me.”

Donghyuck sighed, _I was so close._

“I thought you were back at the hotel already.”

“The view is prettier at night. I thought you were asleep?”

Donghyuck slung his bag strap back over his shoulder. “You checked on me?”

Mark shook his head and pointed behind him, “No, Ten did.” Donghyuck looked over his shoulder and saw Ten taking pictures of the towers in front of him. He slouched down to the floor and started taking pictures at different angles. Donghyuck eye's trailed the direction Ten’s camera was pointing at and, _oh my god,_ Johnny was with him.

Donghyuck panic started to rise. He had to get back to the hotel, or at least off this street before Johnny sees him. Johnny can handle a lot of things Donghyuck does, but all in the condition that Donghyuck is honest with him. Pranks, illness, emotions, and most importantly where he’s at when he’s not at home or at the company. Johnny says it’s more for protection and safety rather than the image, but Donghyuck shrugs it off and just tells him. He’d rather tell him that than share his iPhone location with him all the time. Anyways, Donghyuck is panicking right now because one look Johnny throws over to his right, and he’ll see him.

He steps away from Mark and tries to move along the crowd. “ _Hey! Where you’re going?”_ Donghyuck tries to throw Mark’s voice out of his head and push through the street, but people are stopping and he trips instead onto the ground.

Mark comes up behind him and places his hand on his back. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

Donghyuck is panicking. His hands are reaching around to grab the stuff that fell out his bag and he knows he needs to back at the hotel right now. “I need to _go.”_ Donghyuck is bawling the money he has in his hand and he’s pushing himself up when he feels something push him back down.

He looks up and sees Mark’s back turned to him, but his hand is on Donghyuck’s shoulder still pushing him down. “ _Mark! I need to-”_ Mark covers his mouth with his hand. Donghyuck is getting fed up and he’s about to lick Mark’s hand to get him to let go when he hears Mark talking.

“ _Hey, Johnny!”_ Donghyuck freezes.

He can barely see the crack from where he’s hiding behind Mark’s legs, but he sees Johnny’s ripped jeans from earlier, and Ten’s skinny legs are right behind him. “ _Why’d you walk away? I thought you wanted a picture in front of the tower?”_

Mark is shifting his legs a little to try to cover more of Donghyuck, but Donghyuck grabs his calf to get him to stop. He’s only going to draw attention if he does.

“ _Oh yeah, but I started to feel a little tired from the flight and walking earlier, so I decided that I should head back to the hotel.”_

Donghyuck sees Johnny shift his weight over to one leg. “ _It was the curry, wasn’t it?_

_“What?”_

_“It was the curry dish I made you try earlier. Oh my god, you said you didn’t like curry. I’m so sorry Mark, Ten let’s go find a pharmacy nearby-”_

Donghyuck chuckles into Mark’s hand. “ _Johnny! Johnny, it’s fine dude. I’ll just go back, I’ll be okay.”_

Johnny’s feet turn back to Mark. “ _Are you sure?”_ Donghyuck can hear Johnny’s concerning voice he tends to use when he trips during dance practice and tries to reassure Johnny that he is okay.

“ _Yeah, totally.”_ Another thing Donghyuck has learned about Mark- he’s a sucky liar. His voice quivers when he lies about things he’s done to kill the embarrassment in front of him.

Ten scoots up behind Johnny and grabs him on the shoulder, “ _Hey! Look, they have the sweets you wanted to try over here._ Johnny’s goes on his tippy-toes and looks over at the direction Ten was pointing at.

“ _Fuck yeah! Alright, Mark, there are some pills in my suitcase to help relieve your stomach. It’s something you're gonna need in your bag when you’re traveling to new places and trying new food.”_ Mark is squeezing his hand over Donghyuck’s mouth to keep his laugh from bursting out.

Johnny’s legs move away from them, but not Ten’s. Mark keeps his legs tight together, and Donghyuck’s holding onto his squat trying to suppress the burn he’s getting from standing on the ball of his feet for so long.

Ten’s legs turn around to follow Johnny’s, “ _Bye Hyuck! Talk to you later,”_ and he leaves. _Fuck._

Mark doesn’t move and Donghyuck licks his hand to get him to react. “ _Ew!_ ”

“Johnny left before Ten said that, right?” Donghyuck pulls on his hat and tries to peek at the direction they went in.

Mark is rubbing his hand on his jacket a disgusted look on his face. “Yeah, he did.”

Donghyuck nods and turns away heading back to the hotel. “Ok, so I’m not completely dead.”

Mark catches up to and walks alongside him. “You didn’t answer me,”

Donghyuck keeps his head down and picks up the pace. “About what?”

“Why are you out? I thought you said you were tired.” Mark nearly trips over a crack on the pavement and Donghyuck slows down his pace until they’re walking in sync.

“I was, but then I got bored.”

“Could’ve told me then,” Mark argues. “You wouldn’t have been out here alone.” Donghyuck nearly feels bad. Mark’s not doing any harm, he’s being nice, but then when he’s being nice, Donghyuck starts to feel things and he’s not okay with that so,

“I wanted to be alone.”

Mark drops his eyes from where he was staring at a curl peeking out under Donghyuck’s hat. “Oh.” They walk in silence all the way to the hotel, up to the elevator, and part to their rooms.

Donghyuck feels like shit.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Donghyuck fell asleep quick that night before but with a heavy heart. He also can’t shrug off the change in mood Mark has been giving off all morning. He’s distant and it hurts Donghyuck because Mark is still his friend, and friends don't do that to each other. 

The Haechan fan event started midday. It was hosted by a radio show and Haechan was there to give signatures. For those couple hours, Donghyuck forgot about Mark and his stupid crush. He was in his own zone right now and one that he loved. He loved meeting the fans- seeing their wittiness and efforts to connect with him. Even in a fast-paced life that Haechan has to live, these one-on-one moments brought him comfort and relief because it reminded him that his passion for music isn’t just for him. It was for the people out there who loved and supported him as well and that fueled his energy.

A couple of hours passed by and the event came to a close. Donghyuck was overjoyed with the fans he couldn’t contain his happiness. When they walked him back out to behind the auditorium, he didn’t hesitate to pounce on Mark.

“Hey! Don’t make me knock over my camera!”

Donghyuck giggled. “Did you see how much they love me? I hope I made their day special ‘cause I feel great right now!”

Mark chuckled at Donghyuck’s excitement. “Donghyuck, you literally breathe and they love you. I’m pretty sure you made their year,” Mark assured. Donghyuck beamed with a wide smile as he watched the fans leaving the auditorium from behind the curtains.

The staff was gathering their things and shuffling out to the cars to head out for dinner. Haechan was being called over to take a couple promo pictures before he left the venue. Ten was styling the bits of hair that fell flat and makeup that faded.

“You weren’t sleeping your room yesterday,”

Donghyuck frowned. “Yeah, I know,”

Ten motioned for Donghyuck to look up as he re-applied the eyeliner on his lower lash line. “Mark’s legs are also the size of my cats, I could spot your _‘Coastal’_ hat anywhere.” _I knew that idiot was moving around too much. Way to go, Mark._

Ten pulled the brush away and freed his hand to fix Donghyuck’s jacket. “Does Johnny know I was out alone?”

Ten shook his head, “No, Johnny was too worried about Mark having diarrhea. He didn’t see you crouched down like a rat.”

Donghyuck slapped Ten on his arm. “ _Hey!_ At least call me a mouse,” he pouted. Ten laughed.

“Alright, quit throwing those eyes at me, you little mouse. But sneak out again, and I will tell Johnny this time.” Ten won’t, but the tone of his threat still sounds intimidating.

“Aye aye, Captain!”

 

**

Dinner went by and Johnny was going off about the treats he bought yesterday. It was the same treats that saved Donghyuck, and right now he was trying to swallow his face into his meal to avoid Johnny to look at him.

“Aw, Hyuck! You shouldn’t have taken a nap yesterday, you missed out on a lot,” Johnny whined.

Ten looked across the table to Donghyuck where he was trying to make himself small in his chair. “Yeah, it would’ve been fun if you had come with us.” Mark choked on his food. Johnny handed his glass of water and swatted air towards him.

“Aw, dude. Forgot to ask, how’s your stomach doing?” Donghyuck burst into giggles again, and Mark elbowed him in his side.

“ _Hmm,_ is it okay if I go out tonight at least?” Donghyuck asked.

Johnny chews down the food he put into his mouth and looked over at his side. “You can’t go alone, you know that, right?”

Donghyuck nodded. “Who said I was going alone?” He turned to Mark and motioned his head at him, “I’ll take him with me.”

Johnny looked over at Mark and he stared back. “I’m cool with that. Besides, I haven’t gotten much content from Haechan here in Malaysia and I need to get my friend a gift from here.” Johnny nodded and gave his green light.

Everyone carried on with their dinner until they were waiting outside for Johnny to finish paying the bill. “Alright, both of you have your phones. The hotel is not that far off from the Market-”

“I know,” Donghyuck assured.

Johnny looked at him confusingly.  “How do you know?” _Aw, frick!_

“I-I told him,” Mark stepped in. “On our way to the hotel yesterday, I pointed it out.” Mark was still a bad liar, but Johnny is also clueless.

“Okay, I trust you two. Be safe!” Johnny stepped into the car and they pulled away from the curb.

Mark pulled out his camera and wiped the lens with a cloth. He moved the camera around to adjust it to the night settings and snuck a shot of Donghyuck as he looked around the night sky. “Ready to go?”

Donghyuck smiled, “Alright, taking my puppy on a walk! So fun!”

Mark growled, “I’m not your puppy…”

“My puppy!” Donghyuck led the way and Mark followed, just like a puppy

 

\------------------------------------

 

Mark didn’t get to see all the market last night since he walked Donghyuck back to the hotel, so Donghyuck declared himself the tour guide. They were still very full from their meals, but Donghyuck still insisted Mark tried everything he had from the day before.

“Dude, I’m for sure going to have a stomach ache if you stuff something else down my mouth.” Mark was downing water in hopes the fluid would settle is heavy food.

Donghyuck was twisting around handmade bracelets in his hand. “Just say diarrhea Mark, don’t sugar coat it.” Mark’s face got red and he pushed Donghyuck to the table.

They kept walking around the city that night catching up on things they did in the past week they didn’t see each other before they left for Malaysia.

It was easy- so easy for Donghyuck to talk to Mark. He wasn’t schedules and tasks like Johnny. He wasn’t business and promos like Kun. Not color silhouettes and eyeshadow glitters like Ten. Chenle and Jisung were his best friends, the people he can laugh and joke with. They were his number ones’, but they were also part of the entertainment world, and although he can always rely on them, he needed a breather away from this world sometimes.

Mark was his breather. When Donghyuck got rid of the Haechan facade with Mark at the aquarium in Japan, he felt free. There was no barrier or persona to set in front of Mark, he could switch in front of him whenever he wanted and Mark saw no difference. He respected the artist that was Haechan, and admired the boy that was Donghyuck. There was no secrets, no fan service, fake friendly attitude. Donghyuck could be Donghyuck just as much as Mark was himself.

“Donghyuck, what’s something you’ve never done before?” They weren’t in the market anymore, just somewhere in the downtown streets.

“I’ve never gotten drunk before, or tried alcohol.”

Mark looked stunned. “Not even champagne? At your fancy events?”

Donghyuck shook his head. “Johnny said no bad image, and also I have no access to it either so,”

Mark nodded and kept walking. “Well, I’ll tell you right now it’s not fun.”

“You’ve gotten drunk before?” They were walking past a fountain and Donghyuck jumped on the side rail balancing himself to walk on the narrow pavement.

“A while ago, yeah. I woke up with a huge hangover the next morning, but you know what I also got that day too?”

Donghyuck shrugged. Mark grinned, “This job.”

Mark was smiling so pretty and nice. Donghyuck jumped down from the rail, and came close to Mark standing in front of him. “Must’ve been your lucky day, huh?” He was closer to him and his smile was still so pretty and nice. Donghyuck brought his hand up to fix Mark’s fringe that never failed to stick out, but he still looked so pretty with it.

“Yeah, I guess it was.” Donghyuck feels butterflies and he’s so sure Mark can hear his heart pounding. There’s a voice in the back of his head telling himself to stop, but he ignores it. He doesn’t care right now. Mark is clouding his mind.

They keep the conversation flow going. Everything they have and haven’t done. Mark’s never been to Europe, and Donghyuck’s never been to America. Donghyuck’s never tried fries with his milkshake and Mark’s never tasted jam on his pancakes.

“I’ve never been on a date,” Donghyuck blurts out. He’s not sure why he does, but Mark stops.

He turns to Donghyuck a little and then turns away. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

There’s a bench and Mark moves over to sit on it. “What about you?”

Donghyuck knows the answer, but he just wants to hear Mark say it. “I have, I guess” Donghyuck coughs.

“You guess? What do you mean you guess? Did it suck or something?”

_Please say yes._

“No, it was fun.”

_Wow,_

Donghyuck moves around to sit next to Mark on the bench and you can see the towers a little way out. “When was it?”

“Last week, actually.” Mark is playing with his fingers the way he always does when he’s nervous.

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“Yup.”

He doesn’t know why he’s asking, but tonight feels different for Donghyuck. There’s a little hope inside of him that maybe his crush isn’t just his. There’s no way it’s one-sided. Mark has talked about his friends so many times with Donghyuck, he knows he’s not big with showing his love, so why is it that every time Mark hugs Donghyuck during late-night recordings, Donghyuck can’t help melt into his arms and Mark lets it. Mark has to like Donghyuck, he has to.

“So, do you like him?”

Mark turns to look at him, but Donghyuck’s eyes are wide with hesitance as to what he’ll reply.

“ _What?”_

“Do you like him?”

He fumbles under Donghyuck’s glare. “No, no I don’t think so? I barely know him.” _But you know me._ “Why are you asking?”

“Because,”

“Because what Donghyuck?”

One thing Jisung did manage to give Donghyuck advice that night at dinner, was to follow his heart. Things will work out if they want to, so Donghyuck puts his big boy pants on and decides he has nothing to lose.

“Because _I-I like you.”_

Mark doesn’t move. Donghyuck is staring down at his hands, and he peeks his eyes a little under his hair to see Mark is still. He moves his head slowly up and sees Mark is expression is soft. There’s a smile tugging at the corner of his lips and Donghyuck brings out his.

“Mark?” He’s still holding back his smile, and Donghyuck laughs.

He brings up his hand to Mark’s fringe again to move it. “Dude, you’re going to hurt your cheeks. Just smile already-”

Mark grabs Donghyuck’s hand and pulls it away from him. He sets back down on his lap and that tug on his corners is gone. His lips are straight.

“What happened? What did I do-”

“Stop.”

“What?”

Mark is staring and his face is stern. “Donghyuck, stop this.”

Donghyuck doesn’t understand. He’s shaking his head as Mark stands up from the bench. Donghyuck reaches out to grab hold of his elbow, but his fingers only graze at his jean jacket.

Mark turns back around to look at him. “What are you doing, Mark? It can’t just be me.” Donghyuck feels heavy again. His body is weighing him down and sinking him further into the bench. Mark is still standing there staring at him. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t. He turns his back again and shuffles his feet forward.

“We can’t do this, so stop it right now Hyuck. It won’t happen.”

And he leaves.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, talk about DNYL. 
> 
> remember my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/BLONDAUS) is open.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just wished you’d stop thinking sometimes, and just lived.”

“Donghyuck told me he likes me.”

Renjun choked on his latte. Jeno picked up a job at a cafe between home and school. He’s not really barista level, except for making a typical americano, but he’s been working his way up to it. Plus, he knows how much Renjun loves latte art, so he’s been making him half deformed flowers every time Renjun comes to visit. 

“Donghyuck is Haechan, right?” Jaemin asked. Mark nodded. “Sorry, still not used to it. He’s… Haechan.” 

Renjun cleaned up the milk that stuck to his top lips from his choke earlier. “Oh my god! And what did you do? What did you say?”

Mark sighed and leaned back into his stool rubbing at his eyes trying not to remember, except he hasn’t really stopped thinking about it for a second. 

_‘We can’t do this.’_

He walked away and left Donghyuck behind on the bench. Mark’s heart clenched inside, but he had to face reality and end anything before it starts. 

Mark walked to the location the towers were at and waited for Donghyuck to catch up. When he finally did, he walked past Mark and kept his head down. He saw a wet cheek and decided to look away and trail behind him following the steps of his dirty white Chucks. There’s nothing he can do about it now. They got to the hotel and that was it.

 _“_ Well,” Jeno came around the counter. “Did you tell him, ‘ _Hey man! I like you too!_ ’ and kiss him like you’ve been wanting to?”

Renjun stared at him. Jeno looked back wondering if he had said something wrong. “Oh Jeno, you’re so cute sometimes.” Jeno blushed.

Mark finished the rest of his Americano and placed the cup back down on the bar. “No,” he let out. “I didn’t. I told him we couldn’t do this.”

Mark’s voice was drained at the end because it _sucked._ He realized his feelings for Donghyuck a long time ago, but he was able to put those aside. He was there to do a job Doyoung worked to get him and he didn’t want to cause any trouble that could leave a bad image for the both of them. And for the most part, he was successful with it. He loved his job, and he also loved being Donghyuck’s friend because it was so easy to be around him, but now- things were so out of place. _Since when did he start having feelings for me?_

Jaemin was the one who brought back Mark from his thoughts. “Why? What happened? I know you’re scared of commitment and all but-”

“-It’s not commitment, Jaemin,” Mark snapped. He sighed and leaned back into his stool. “How is someone like _me_ going to be with someone like _him?”_

Renjun frowned. “And what is that supposed to mean, Mark?”

Mark turned to look at Renjun at his side. He looked disappointed and it made Mark feel guilty. Renjun and Mark have known each other way before their first day at college where they met the new pair Jaemin and Jeno. When Mark was having that fall out with his parents over pursuing journalism rather than something in the medical field, Renjun was the one who convinced him to keep pushing for his passion and promised that they’ll understand one day. He helped him through his college entrance exams studies and even slept over the day before to make sure he woke up on time the next day to take it. Mark dealt with his self-doubts and a lot of them he did have, but Renjun never lets him forget that those doubts were just feelings of uncertainty that will never be true.

But right now, Mark wasn’t being doubtful. He was being honest.

“Renjun, look at me,” Mark scooted back in his chair and held his arms up to signify himself. “I’m some dumb confused college boy who has no envisions for himself. I follow Doyoung around like some lost puppy who can’t fend for himself and avoid my Dad because, once again, I’m too scared to stand up for myself.”

Jeno shifted the weight he was resting on his left leg over to his right and brought up an arm to pat Mark’s shoulder. Renjun’s frown deepened.

“Why would someone like Haechan, god-glorified, perfect sun-kissed boy, Haechan want anything with me?” Mark’s arms dropped to his side. “I’m nothing compared to him.” 

“You really upset me, Mark.” Renjun pushed off the counter and stood up. “I thought you were better than that.” He turned to the cafe’s restroom. 

Jaemin turned his stool to face the cafe bar trailing his finger on the sweat from his iced coffee. “Mark,”

Mark sighed and leaned his back down on the counter. “Yeah?”

“I really hope you don’t miss out on something that really matters in your life because of your fears,” Mark turned his head a little to peek at Jaemin from the corner of his eye. “Things come and go and they do it quick. Nothing’s going to wait for you if you don’t take it.” 

Mark’s text-sound went off and his phone screen lit up. _Yukhei._  

 

**Yukhei:**

Hey (:

Heard you were back in town?

 

Jeno had come around the counter to pick up Renjun’s empty cup and clean up his spot. He took a glance at Mark’s phone. “Oh yeah! Totally forgot! How was the date with Yukhei?”

Mark shrugged and nodded. “It went great, yeah.” He swiped on the text to reply back. 

 

**Mark:**

Hey!

Yeah, came back a while ago.

How’d you find out?

 

_Typing, typing, typing,_

“But it was only one date, right?” Jaemin asked. 

Mark turned to him. “Why one?”

“Because, you like Haechan or Donghyuck,” Jeno intervened. “ _Whatever,_ that dude! You can’t go out with someone you’re not interested in.” He swatted his towel at Mark and turned to the dishes. 

“I never said I wasn’t interested,” Mark retorted. Yukhei texted back.

 

**Yukhei:**

I was walking by the cafe earlier on my way to the library and saw you… 

Wait, that was you, right? o: 

 

**Mark:**

Yeah, that was me!

 

**Yukhei:**

Give me two minutes,

 

Renjun returned to the counter and plopped back onto his stool his feet dangling in the air. “Want anything else, my highness?” Jeno asked over his shoulder as he dried the cups in the sink.

“An ice cream cup please!” Renjun prompted. 

Jaemin continued to glower at Mark as he was fidgeting in his seat trying to fix his shirt and clean the dust off his glasses with a napkin. Renjun wheeled around in his chair to look at them. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing-”

“Mark is still flirting with Yukhei even though he’s in love with Donghyuck.”

Mark slammed his palm on the counter. “Jaemin!”

The door of the cafe opened and the sound of cars came in. Mark shifted his gaze away from Jaemin and turned to see Yukhei. 

“Mark!”

“Hey, Yukhei!”

Yukhei strolled his way up to the counter and looked over the rest of the boys. “Hi,” he grinned. 

“You were at the library?” Mark pointed at the books Yukhei was holding in his hand. 

“Yeah! Had to return some and then check out a couple of new ones.”

Mark reached his hand over to look at the books he chose. _The Courage to be Disliked._ “Didn’t know you were a literature kind of guy,” Mark confessed. 

“Well, it’s part of my minor.” 

Mark looked up at Yukhei. He didn’t know that. They’ve only been on one date of course, but that should’ve been one of the first things to ask. This is something that he’s been studying for Mark should’ve at least had the manners to ask. Now that he’s thinking about it, the date looks a lot like a blur and he doesn’t remember much about Yukhei except about how he has a dog named Milo back home. He wonders about all the other things he possibly doesn’t know now...

“You didn’t tell me,” Mark muttered. 

Yukhei smiled and touched a hair out of Mark’s face. “‘Cause we’ve only been on one date, silly.” Mark cheesed at that goofy grin of Yukhei. He could definitely learn to like him. “We didn’t get around to it,” Yukhei let go of Mark’s hair and the piece fell back over his eye, “but maybe on our next one, you can ask me anything you want to know.”

Mark was at a loss of words. Yukhei wasn’t Donghyuck, yeah, but he was a cute and sweet guy. He seemed to show really good interest and has a kind heart. Why couldn’t Mark like him?

“On our next date?”

“How about tomorrow night, are you free?” 

Mark was most definitely free- but then he felt something pinch at his back. Must’ve been the counter… “Yeah, I-I’m free.” There he goes again with the stuttering.

There was another pinch this time, and it made Mark yelp. “ _Ow!_ ” He felt his shirt tug and that’s when he wheeled his chair back around and saw Jaemin reaching for the straw in his cup slurping at his finished coffee. 

“Cool! I’ll text you,” Yukhei waved at the rest of the boys whom he didn’t even pat eye the whole time he was there. He focused his attention solely on Mark. 

Mark thought about his date and blushed a little. He didn’t like Yukhei, _for now,_  but it was nice knowing there’s someone there who’s interested in him and he can genuinely have. It was nice

Another pinch, this time on his arm. “ _Ow-_ Jaemin!”

“I told you, you can’t date him!” 

Mark scowled. “I’m not going to date Donghyuck!”

“It doesn’t matter if you date Donghyuck or not, you can’t date people unless you actually like them!” Jaemin threw his arm back and knocked over the ice that was melting away in his cup. Jeno glared. 

“You, Jaemin, out! You’ve been here too long already.” Jaemin handed him the cup and reached for the napkins. “Leave it, I’ll clean it up.” 

Jaemin knelt down to pick up his bag off the floor and stood back up straight to look at Mark in the eyes. “You need to be alone and get your life together.” He stormed out of the cafe.

Mark’s shoulders dropped as he watched Jaemin cross the street on his way to the apartment. Guess Mark won’t be able to eat the pasta leftovers Renjun had left for him. 

He turned his attention to Renjun who was devouring away the ice cream Jeno had gotten him. “Ren, please tell me something.”

Renjun’s legs were still dangling from the high stool and he was kicking them in swift motions. “I have nothing to say right now. I’m still upset at you from earlier,” Mark dropped his eyes. “Mark, I am not you. I can’t tell you how to act or feel,” Renjun put his spoon down in his cup. “I just wished you’d stop thinking sometimes, and just _lived,_ ”

Mark didn’t know how to respond. He lifted his hand to rub Renjun’s shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Renjun cracked a small smile but then pushed his hand off him. “No, yeah. I’m still mad and I’m definitely having another cup of ice cream before I go to make me feel better, so _go.”_

Mark looked at Renjun who was already back to plopping spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream into his mouth and then turned to Jeno for help. Jeno shrugged but then turned to Renjun and smiled to himself. 

“Alright, _fine,”_ Mark exhaled. He pushed out to the door and waited at the corner of the street for the light to change. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out. _Doyoung._  

He swiped and answered. “Hello?”

“ _Where’s the Malaysian piece?”_  

 

\------------------------------------ 

 

Donghyuck hasn’t seen Chenle nor Jisung in the past week since he’s been back. Their own duties call which forces Donghyuck to sulk away in his feelings by himself. 

He cried when Mark walked away, but it wasn’t because Mark didn’t reciprocate the feelings- he never even said he didn’t like Donghyuck. He just said that it couldn’t happen. Donghyuck might let a lot of people decide a lot of things for him, but he won’t let Mark become one of those people now.

 ' _This can’t happen’_

 _What the hell is that supposed to mean?_  

He wasn’t mad at Mark. Just disappointed, and he was more disappointed at himself for not speaking up. Instead, he let the rest of their small trip go in silence. Well, it’s not like Mark wanted to talk to him either. Actually, he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything and now he feels more in the dark than ever. He should’ve ignored Jisung’s advice- feelings were _crap._

Donghyuck thoughts are interrupted as Johnny knocks on the practice room and steps inside. “All good, bud?” He sets down a milkshake from the cafeteria on top of the keyboard Donghyuck is resting on. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He takes the cup and swirls the straw picking up the whipped cream and putting it into his mouth. “We have a schedule today, right?”

Johnny nods and takes a seat in the corner of the small room. “We’re meeting with all the leads today to talk about your comeback.” Donghyuck eyes lit up with excitement.

“Woah! Comeback already?” He was leaning over in his seat closer to Johnny. Johnny laughs at the cuteness of his excitement. 

“Yeah, comeback already,” Johnny nodded. “The last one was in November, and we’re in the middle of March, I think it’s time.”

Donghyuck loved comeback time. It was the best thing to look forward to. He was already recording bits of other songs, but now they were going to go into full recording mode. Not only that but the dance practice, the adrenaline he gets from learning new choreography and practicing for hours. It's tiring and he knows it- nothing about having a comeback is easy. It’s endless hours of nonstop practice and recording, a built-up system that he has to climb up before finally being able to show the fans and the whole world what he’s done this time around. There are his fallouts, but he manages to push through because the ending result always leaves a sweet taste in his mouth that he can’t get enough of. It was time for Haechan to make a comeback. 

 

-

 

“And there will be a live translation for international fans to follow along during your premiere show, so we’ll go over the script you’ll have to follow, Haechan, to match the translations,” Kun was rambling over the comeback goals and the new ways they’ve decided to reach out to fans. Johnny was once again typing away on his iPad setting up schedules and writing down notes in his small notebook. “Is there anything you would like to add to this, Haechan?” Kun asked, motioning him to speak up.

Haechan was flipping through the folder he received looking at the music show dates and the length of his promotions. “Could we maybe another one of those random meetups into the schedule? You know, the ones at cafes and in the middle of the park? I really enjoyed those fan meets. It was fun running around with them,” he looked up to meet Kun’s eyes.

“Sure,” Kun nodded and took hold of his pencil stylus to write it down in his own tablet. “Is there anything else? Do you have any concerns about the fan signs we have laid out so far? We don’t want you to be tired.”

Johnny slid his iPad for Haechan to see a full layout of the schedule. Haechan skimmed his eyes and shook his head. Johnny turned to Kun. “This schedule seems to be fine, Kun. Thank you, we’ll let you know if anything changes,” Johnny asserted. 

The meeting continued, adding changes to schedules, giving suggestions on album sales, photoshoots, and all things necessary. When they stepped out, Donghyuck head was thwacked with all the new information he received. 

“So you’re ready right?” Johnny placed his hand on Donghyuck’s back and led him to the elevator ready to take him home and rest before preparations that start early tomorrow morning. “It’s a month away, I need to know if you’re feeling at your best right now.” They reached the elevators and Johnny hit the down button. 

“I’m ready. It’s about time, things were starting to get boring,” Donghyuck replied.

Johnny turned to Donghyuck and eyed him. “Boring? Doesn’t look like it,” he snickered. You and Mark always seem to be doing something.” Donghyuck stops moving.

“I need to keep a closer eye on you two.” The elevator doors opened and they stepped in. “Kun told me about the prank you both pulled a month ago, I’ve been meaning to bring that up.” Donghyuck didn’t say anything.

Johnny clicked the first-floor button and the doors were about to close when Kun appeared and signaled the doors to re-open. “Phew, made it.

Johnny chuckled. “Speak of the devil.” 

Kun hit the button to the fifth floor and leaned back on the elevator wall. “Oh! Forgot to mention this earlier,” he started. “I think fans would really love it if we record daily logs of Haechan’s pre-comeback preparations.” 

Johnny turned to Donghyuck for a reaction. Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders. “Up to you big boss,” he told Johnny.

Kun pushed off the elevator as they reached his floor. “I think it’ll look meaningful, genuine and raw, you know? A real figure of Haechan.” Donghyuck laughed a little at that. _The real Haechan._ “I wanted to ask in case you don’t want a sweaty image of Haechan in a dance studio,” he teased. “What do you think?”

The elevator doors began to close and Kun put his hand up to stop the sensor making it open up again. Johnny stuck out his lips in thought and nodded his head in agreement. “Alright, yeah I like that. I’ll let Mark know.” 

Kun smiled and stepped out of the elevator. The buzzing in Donghyuck’s head came back. _Time to see him, I guess._

He leaned his head on Johnny’s arm and closed his eyes wanting to ease his mind.  “Its ok Hyuck, I’m ready to take you home too.”

 

\------------------------------------ 

 

Johnny called Mark the next morning. Mark was in the middle of discussing template plans with Doyoung and Yuta. When Johnny asked Mark to come by the company as soon as he can, given that rehearsals started that day too, Mark told Doyoung template five looks best and grabbed his bag to go. 

He hadn’t given much thought about what to say Donghyuck once he finally sees him. He wasn’t even sure if it was right for him to talk to him. I mean, what was he supposed to say.

_Hey dude, not sure if I broke your heart or something last week but I’m kinda sorry you know?_

_Pathetic._

Mark was really wishing Hyunjin had this job instead but that would leave him to pay dust. 

He stepped into the building and was greeted by the receptions who’ve grown accustomed to seeing him around. Johnny told him recording was the schedule for today so he headed for that direction of the building.

When he made it to the 5th room on the recording floor, Haechan was working on the ad libs of the song. Johnny was seated on the couch observing the practice. “Hey! You’re finally here.”

Mark gave a smile. “Yeah, I’m here.” He sat away next to Johnny and he began the briefing of what’s coming next- Haechan’s comeback. 

Mark’s new job was to follow Haechan around as he prepared for his new stages and album. Not much a new job since all of Mark’s memory card has been filled with nothing but Haechan content for the past three months that he felt like a fansite. Anyways, this meant Mark was going to be basically spending twenty-four hours with Donghyuck now and he’s honestly not sure how to feel about that. But Johnny doesn’t know what happened back in Malaysia so he hands him a schedule and tells him that if he, for any reason, needs to miss out on a couple of practices to just shoot him a text. Mark tells him that if he’s not here, he’ll probably be at _WANT IT?_ doing needed paperwork and Johnny assures him that that’s completely fine and leaves the room to go on about his own business. Mark is left there alone with Donghyuck and the producers.

He set up his camera recorder inside the studio when Haechan steps out to talk to the producer who’s walking him through the tones of the notes and what sounded nice and what needed to be redone. He pulls out his second camera and takes snaps of Haechan when his brows are furrowed looking over the sheet music and when he’s doing the bridge part of a ballad song immersed at the moment, his hands clasped to his chest as he stables his voice over to maintain the pitch. One thing Mark loves about this job is that it doesn’t even feel like one to him. He could do this forever because he finds pleasure in capturing the passion of others. He finds pleasure in capturing Donghyuck. 

The recording goes on for hours just like the schedule says. When a break is called, the producers leave the room to have a very late lunch, or rather, dinner. Donghyuck walks out of the studio and throws himself onto the couch and lets his limbs go loose. Mark is hanging on the other end of the studio in a recliner going over today’s pictures. The room is quiet. Mark doesn’t want to look at the younger. Donghyuck is eyes are shutting close, but Donghyuck being Donghyuck, will not let this moment be wasted in silence.

“I don’t hate you.”

Those words surprise Mark, but he doesn’t want to say anything- he doesn’t know what to say.

“You heard me?” He has to answer now.

“I guess I’m glad?” That wasn’t supposed to sound like a question, or sarcastic either. _I’m an idiot._

Donghyuck snorts. “Yeah, be glad. because I can hate pretty hard,” he jokes. He’s trying to lift the mood because he still likes Mark, and things can’t take a step forward if they don’t talk to each other. He’s not giving up.

Mark feels like he’s walking on shaky ground. Donghyuck thinks he’s walking on the right path. Mark can say he likes Donghyuck. Donghyuck already admitted his feelings. Mark could also tell him that he deserves something better. Donghyuck thinks Mark was destined for him to meet.

Mark sighs. “I’m sorry, Hyuck. My reaction was bad.” 

Donghyuck lifts himself from the couch and turns over to look at Mark who’s still in the recliner on the other end. He put his camera down and he’s looking over at him now. “It shouldn’t have happened like that.”

A smile tugged on the corners of Donghyuck’s mouth. “So what should have happened, huh?”

_He realized._

“We still can’t do this, Hyuck.” _He didn’t._

“This is my job and I have people to respond to,” Mark continues. “Johnny won’t like it, and Doyoung won’t either. It’s not as simple as you might think it to be.”

Donghyuck scoffs and drops right back into the couch facing the roof above him. “Who cares? Do you care, because I really don’t.” He brings his right arm over his head and covers his eyes from the light. 

Mark turns away from Donghyuck and goes back to going through the pictures on his camera. “I do care Donghyuck. I get that you might not, but please stop to think about why I care.”

Donghyuck doesn’t like his response at all. Thinking is hard. It takes effort and time, and it sucks. Donghyuck spends a lot of his time trailing after things with the busy life he lives, and he wishes Mark would just be his escape, but even he’s been difficult to manage. He tries to push his thoughts away and take a snooze, but there’s one thing that still lingers in his mind and he needs to let it out to nap comfortably. 

“You never said you didn’t like me though,”

Mark inhales and takes a deep sigh. He reaches for his bag on the floor and pulls out his laptop to uploaded his selected pictures and start his new project. “Take a snooze, Hyuck. Your eyes have been hanging and looking drowsy since the last song you’ve recorded.” 

Donghyuck goes to sleep. 

 

\------------------------------------ 

 

The recording ends at two in the morning that night. There weren't any buses operating at that late hour and it took longer to get to Mark’s studio apartment than Jeno and Jaemin’s place, so that’s where he heads to. When he enters the passcode, the door jingle goes off when he opens it. He takes off his shoes and quietly places his bag down on the kitchen counter. When he opens the fridge for a glass of water and the pasta leftovers, a sleepy Jaemin walks out of the second room. 

“Why are you here?” he whispers, voice filled with sleep.

Mark comes closer to keep his voice hushed for Jeno who was snoring quietly in his own room. “Too late to walk from the company all the way to my own home.” 

Jaemin walks back into his room as Mark digs through his bag to look for his phone charger. He comes back out seconds later and hands Mark a pair of clothes. “You can sleep on my bed, but we’re putting pillows between us,” Jaemin instructs. “I’m still upset with you until morning.” Mark nods and heads to the bathroom for a shower. 

 

-

 

The next day, he follows the schedule. The recording ends at three and then Haechan leaves for an interview with Johnny. Mark finally makes it back to his apartment and gets ready for his date with Yukhei. He almost forgot about that. 

 

Yukhei is all things nice. They go to a Thai restaurant where Mark finds out he himself is actually half Thai as well. They talk about many more things this time around, about how Mark moved from America early as kid and Yukhei did as well, both due to their dad’s jobs. Mark also made sure to ask Yukhei what he was studying this time- he’s majoring in supply & chain management, but minoring communication. He wanted to be a book editor, but his father wanted him to take over the family restaurants he owned here in Seoul, so he settled. Mark related to 

“Wait,” Mark looked around. “Is this one of your restaurants?”

Yukhei smirked. “It’s not mine, it's my dad’s,” he said, “yet.”

Mark nudged him from across the table and Yukhei broke out into laughter. The date kept going and Mark was really smitten over Yukhei. He was the perfect ‘boyfriend material’ that everyone talked about and once again he felt lucky that Yukhei placed his eyes on him out of everyone else. Anyone would be lucky to have Yukhei and that thought is dawning on Mark right now.   

They parted ways at the substation to which Yukhei took and Mark turned to take the bus home. When he reached home, he tossed off his shoes and flopped onto his bed at the end of the room. The moonlight was coming in through the blinds and Mark heard the ticking of his clock. Yukhei was cute. Yukhei was smart. Yukhei was funny and kind and he made Mark feel good about himself for the couple hours that they did spend together, but he also felt guilt.

Mark told himself he likes Yukhei- he believes he likes Yukhei. The butterflies in his stomach told him so and the smile that never left his face when they walked through the park laughing at all the goofiness Yukhei emitted when he played around on the swings or the work-out equipment that only the elderly ever used. But there’s something else he felt- guilty.

He liked Yukhei. He liked Donghyuck more, though. The room went dark as clouds came by and hid the light the moon was emitting through his blinds. Mark wished he’d stop thinking so much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Open to hear your thoughts. 
> 
>  
> 
> [My CC](https://curiouscat.me/BLONDAUS)


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